


no sound to hide behind

by littlefuzzydude, RandomTiger



Series: turn our future upside down [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Alternate Universe - Baby Blasters, Angst, Child Abuse, Consent Issues, Escape, Gaster isn't that shitty of a scientist, Gen, Minor Monster Death, Objectification, Self-Hatred, Shapeshifting, Suicidal Thoughts, Unethical Experimentation, baby blaster au, but not in a 'I'm going to go kill myself' way, in an 'Everything would be better if I didn't exist' way, mentions of animal death, minor self-harm, with the experiments there's no sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-12
Updated: 2016-09-28
Packaged: 2018-05-06 05:53:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 26,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5405456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlefuzzydude/pseuds/littlefuzzydude, https://archiveofourown.org/users/RandomTiger/pseuds/RandomTiger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sans and Papyrus live in the lab. They were created in the lab, and one day, they would probably die in the lab. Sans had shielded his little brother from the scientist as much as he could, but in the end, they were just his experiments, and he could do whatever he wanted to them.</p><p>But one day, there was someone new. Someone Sans had never seen before. And, even though all they did was stare, Sans couldn't help but feel something he hadn't before - hope.</p><p>Based on the baby blasters AU by spacegate.</p><p> </p><p>  <b>Abandoned-ish. See last chapter for details.</b></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. sit in silence

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the [Baby Blasters AU](http://babyblasters.tumblr.com/) by [spacegate](http://spacegate.tumblr.com/) .
> 
> I'm not really sure exactly were this is going or how long it's going to be. But hopefully you all enjoy! :)
> 
> Note that this chapter has been beta'd for grammar and spelling by the lovely [drygrasses](http://drygrasses.tumblr.com/), but unfortunately she isn't terribly familiar with Undertale so it hasn't been beta'd for content. If you notice any errors, just let me know!
> 
> Title and chapter titles are from Car Radio by Twenty One Pilots.

Sans laid as still on the table as he could. He could still feel the echoes of touch on his bones, violating and insidious. The scientist had become distracted with something on his computer, but it was never a sure thing that it would keep his attention for long. Sans often wondered what the computers did and how they worked. He knew they stored some kind of information, but beyond that... Well. It wasn't like the scientist talked to him much, only to give directions or orders.

Clicking echoed through the empty room, signaling that the scientist had finished with whatever it was on the computer. Hopefully, they were done for the day. It was often hard to tell – Sans didn't have the best sense of time, and the lights only went off when the scientist left. There was really no way for Sans to know when the experiments were over other than the scientist outright telling him, and he rarely did.

The scientist walked over to the table and made a quick gesture. Sans got up quickly. He retrieved his gown from a hook on the wall and pulled it on, tying the front with shaking hands under the scientist's gaze. When he was dressed, the scientist opened the door and flipped off the lights. Sans followed him out of the room and down the dim hallway.

The door they stopped at wasn't much different than any of the others in the hall except for the large window set into the wall next to the door. The scientist unlocked the door and opened it just enough for Sans to get in, before closing the door firmly behind him. A loud yip sounded from across the room, and a white blur hurled at him. Sans smiled tiredly at the small bone creature who jumped around at his feet.

"hey, pap." He spoke in a low voice, hoping to calm his too-excitable brother. It had been a long day, and it was hard to muster the energy to keep up with Papyrus' excitement. Luckily, the toddler didn't seem to mind. He ran in circles around Sans' feet, nipping at his ankles occasionally. Sometimes Sans wondered where his brother got so much energy.

After a moment, Papyrus froze, eyes fixed on the observation window. Sans moved instinctively to stand between Papyrus and the window, to shield his baby brother from whatever the danger was.

He turned slowly to look out the window, hoping that the scientist hadn't come back. Instead, there was someone there that he'd never seen before.

It was a monster, small and yellow and covered in scales. They were too small to be an adult, but Sans didn't know of any children down here. He watched them carefully, not as wary as if they had been an adult, but still unsure as to why they were there. The other monster was biting their lip, then their eyes widened. Sans felt tiny arms wrap around one of his legs, and he looked down to see Papyrus, shifted back to two legs, clinging tightly to him.

He looked back up to see that the monster had put their hand up to the glass. They were saying something, but the room was sound proofed, and Sans just shook his head. He was still wary, but Papyrus had poked his head out from behind Sans' leg, curious as always.

The yellow monster blinked a few times. Sweat beaded on their head, and they glanced around before making eye contact with Sans. He stared at them, barely daring to move, for several long moments before they looked away.

After a moment, they jumped as though surprised, then pulled something out of a pocket. It was... a phone? The scientist had used one before, but this one looked different from the one he used.

The monster seemed to be talking to someone. They looked nervous, more sweat beading up on their face, and Sans wondered what was happening. Who were they talking to? What were they saying? They had turned away from the window at some point, but when they finally put the phone back in their pocket, they turned back to the window. It seemed to startle them that Sans was still watching them, but they recovered after a moment and waved their hand tentatively.

Sans wasn't sure what that meant, and he tilted his head to the side, trying to figure it out. The other monster seemed to deflate a little. They smiled shakily before backing away from the window and hurrying away.

For a moment, Sans stood there, unsure of what had just happened. He hadn't even known that monsters could be yellow, or scaly. The only one he'd ever seen before was the scientist, and he was smooth and white and hard, like the walls in the lab. He knew there were other monsters, of course, he knew a lot of things, even more than the scientist seemed to think he did, but it had never crossed his mind that monsters could look so different from each other.

Did that mean that he and Papyrus might be...? No. They weren't monsters. That was what the scientist had said, right? They weren't monsters, they were creations. His best creations. Besides. Monsters didn't have bar codes like him and Papyrus did. Only things had bar codes.

Sans looked down at his brother, who was looking right back up at him. Papyrus smiled and began babbling about something, as though nothing had happened, as though he hadn't been scared, and Sans was so happy that his brother was so resilient.

A wave of exhaustion hit Sans. He swayed and, unsteady on two feet, he let himself shift until he was standing on his four paws. All of the blankets were piled up in the corner, and Sans made his way over to them. He crawled onto them and dug around a bit to make the perfect nest. Papyrus rushed over and snuggled up next to Sans, and Sans curled up around his brother. He let his exhaustion pull him down into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, to avoid any confusion, here's a few details that might differ from the AU's 'canon'.
> 
> Sans is 5, and Papyrus is 3. Alphys is 7.
> 
> Gaster is not a skeleton in this fic. I have always had the head canon that skeletons aren't "natural" monsters, and so it makes more sense to me that only created monsters would be skeletons. Thus, Gaster is just some generic humanoid monster.
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	2. sometimes quiet is violent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! I'm blown away by the response to the last chapter. I'm so happy you guys like it. Thank you so much for all of the feedback! Please take this longer chapter as my thanks.
> 
> Once again, this has been beta'd for spelling and grammar by [drygrasses](http://drygrasses.tumblr.com/). If you see any errors or inconsistencies, please let me know!
> 
> Enjoy!

As usual, the scientist came quietly. Sans woke suddenly to the lights coming on, and he jumped to his paws. Papyrus grumbled a bit at the movement, and opened his eyes. He pushed himself to his feet, and Sans moved in front of him. Hopefully the scientist would just take whoever was easiest again, and that was always Sans. It was the only way he was able to protect his brother.

The door opened slowly, revealing the scientist standing just on the other side. He looked at the two of them impassively.

“Shift, Sans.” The voice was cool and impassive, and Sans quickly stretched into his other shape until he was standing on two legs. The scientist looked between the two of them, before saying, “Both of you, today.”

Sans held back a wince. He turned around and gestured to Papyrus, who climbed into his arms willingly. The scientist didn't like it when either of them talked, so he squeezed his brother a bit, trying to be reassuring. Papyrus smiled widely up at him, so he supposed it worked.

They walked to the lab, the scientist following and keeping his eyes on them as always. It was getting harder to carry Papyrus as he was getting older and heavier, but Sans was worried that if he let his brother walk, that would signal to the scientist that Papyrus was old enough to handle more experimentation. Sans couldn't let that happen.

The lab was silent. Sans put his brother down on one of the exam tables, the one further from the scientist's work station and closer to the door, and helped him out of his gown. Papyrus was quiet and solemn, and while Sans hated that expression being on Papyrus' usually cheerful face, he was grateful that his little brother knew to remain quiet and compliant.

Sans shed his gown and hung them both on the hook before climbing up onto the other table. The scientist wasn't paying attention to them yet, busy preparing two injections. Warily, Sans watched the blue-green liquid fill the syringes. He knew that they contained nutrients, that he didn't need to eat after being given one, but they also had something else, something that made every part of his body feel like it was exploding. And while he was used to the injections, having gotten one nearly every day, Papyrus wasn't, used to eating the food slipped through the usually-sealed slot in the room's door while Sans was in the lab.

He looked over at his brother. Papyrus was entertaining himself by doing something with his fingers, pulling on each of the bones one at a time. He seemed to sense that Sans was looking at him and looked up, smiling a bit. Sans smiled faintly back.

The scientist moved. Each of his steps clicked loudly on the tile floor, echoing in the silent room. He walked around the table and stopped next to Sans. Sans held out his arm, and watched as the syringe’s needle phased into his bone. He closed his eyes tightly as the thick liquid was forced out into his marrow, where his innate magic began absorbing it and spreading it through his body. Every part of his body seemed to flare up for a moment before calming back down, leaving behind a familiar ache. Vaguely, he registered a beep that meant that the scientist had scanned his bar code.

After a moment, Sans opened his eyes. The scientist had moved over and was looking down at Papyrus with a hand extended for his arm, and Papyrus was looking back up at him, confused.

“Your arm,” the scientist said, sounding annoyed, and Sans winced. Luckily, Papyrus held out his arm at that, and Sans was relieved to see that the scientist wasn't annoyed enough to use more force than usual. Papyrus whimpered a bit, but thankfully didn't cry out like some of the other times he'd gotten injections, and the scientist let it pass. He held his phone over Papyrus's bar code and scanned it.

The scientist tapped something on his phone's screen, then spoke into its microphone with a clear, impersonal voice, obviously not caring whether Sans and Papyrus were listening. “Effects of long-term exposure to Determination on shifting and magic fatigue.”

Sans blinked, trying to figure out what that could mean, but the scientist was already walking across the room. He stopped at one of the far walls, one that was made completely out of clear glass, and Sans felt his heart drop. There were two glass doors in the wall, leading to two small, identical rooms with a solid wall between them. The scientist opened one of the doors.

“Sans,” he said, and Sans hopped off the the table and went into the room as directed. Once the scientist closed the door, a buzz of magic filled the room. The magic was familiar, it was meant to monitor the condition of any living thing surrounded by it, and the two rooms were full of it. It didn't hurt, and while it was intrusive it was far better than the scientist's hands during an examination. The magic itself wasn't bad, but Sans hated these rooms anyway, because while he knew Papyrus was right next to him, there was no way to see him, or know how he was doing. There was no way to protect him like this.

Sans watched his brother climb off the other table and walk into the room next to him. He closed his eyes and took a breath, trying to calm himself down. Papyrus would be fine. The scientist wouldn't ruin his creations.

“Every time you hear a beep, shift.” The scientist's voice was perfunctory. A beep echoed through the room, and Sans shifted onto four legs, wondering what the point of this was.

 _Beep._ Sans stood back onto two legs.

 _Beep._ Four legs again.

 _Beep._ This one came quicker, but Sans shifted up again.

The beeps kept coming, and Sans kept shifting. Four legs, two legs, four legs again, he could barely keep track anymore. He could feel himself tiring, the shift becoming more and more difficult, but he kept going.

At some point, Sans must have fallen over, because he wasn't standing anymore, but he couldn't say when that had happened. He didn't know how long this had been going on. He didn't know how much longer it would continue. He didn't know how much longer _he_ could continue.

Beads of perspiration formed on his skull. His eyes had shut, and he didn't have the energy to open them anymore. All of his energy was going into shifting, which had never been so difficult before. He shifted again, and...

He was stuck. He simply did not have the energy to shift back. Sans lay on the floor, panting, and curled his tail around him as the beeps kept coming and he couldn't do anything about them.

The door opened after a moment. Sans mustered the energy to open one of his eyes. The scientist was staring down at him, an expression on his face that Sans couldn't read. He strained to shift, and somehow ended up partly shifted, with arms with hands and legs with paws and a face that felt too flat and too tall and not big enough for all of his teeth. The scientist blinked, expression still unreadable, and then closed the door.

Vaguely, Sans noted that the beeps had stopped. Good. He didn't need to try to shift anymore. He sat up and put his oddly shaped head in his hands, staring blankly out into the lab. The scientist was at his computer, typing something. Sans let himself drift for a few moments.

He snapped back to himself when the door opened in front of him. The scientist gestured for him to come out. Sans pulled himself up onto two legs, which at some point had shifted so that he had feet once again, and walked out into the lab shakily. Papyrus was already standing by their gowns, and Sans made his way over and helped him put one on, before pulling his own on with tired and clumsy fingers. Papyrus seemed to be less fatigued than Sans, but only barely, clutching quietly at the edge of Sans' gown.

Sans scooped his brother up and followed the scientist out of the lab tiredly. His feet dragged on the tiles, and the short walk to the room felt much further. In the room, he stumbled over to the blankets in the corner and curled up around Papyrus, falling asleep almost instantly.

Something tapped on the window. Sans jerked, startled, and raised his head from where it had been resting on Papyrus' back. His eyes glowed bright blue, bathing the dark room in an eerie light.

It was the yellow monster again, although they looked a more washed out gray-green color when only illuminated by Sans' eyes and a small, weak light source they held in one hand. They waved their other hand like they had the night before, and Sans followed the motion with his gaze, still unsure as to its meaning. Some kind of greeting maybe? No, they had done it when they left last time, so it couldn't be that.

The monster pulled their hand down and bit their lip. Why were they here? The scientist hadn't said anything about them, so it was possible that the scientist didn't know they were there. But that was unlikely. The scientist knew a lot of things. It was more probable for him to not believe it was necessary to tell Sans and Papyrus about them.

Sans watched the monster duck down. From what he could see, it looked like they were digging through some sort of bag. They straightened up, looking triumphant, holding a piece of paper in one hand and some sort of writing utensil in the other, having put the light down on the floor. He watched as they scribbled something onto the paper, then held it up to the window so Sans could see it.

In large, tidy block letters, the monster had written, _Can you read?_

Sans nodded. Of course he could read. Some words were hard, but it wasn't that hard. The scientist left a lot of papers lying around, and sometimes when he was bored in the lab, Sans would read what he could see of them. Not that he really understood most of it, but still.

The monster smiled widely. Sans almost shrunk back, monsters smiling rarely meant anything good for them, but he caught himself. “they're on the other side of the glass,” he murmured to himself, soft growls echoing in the small room. “they can't hurt us until we're on the same side.” Well, at least in the room. The lab had different rules.

Papyrus stirred at the sound of Sans' voice, and Sans nudged him gently with his nose. Papyrus sighed in contentment and curled up a bit tighter, absently gnawing on his tail. Sans curled his own tail around his brother more securely and looked back up.

More had been added below the question. _Hi! I'm Alphys. I'm 7. My mom works upstairs._

Sans nodded again. Vaguely, he wondered what a mom was. Alphys was looking at him expectantly, before seeming to realize something. They frowned, then turned the paper around and wrote something else.

_Sorry, I forgot. Next time I'll bring enough paper for you to have some too._

Next time? They were planning to come back? Sans glanced around the room. How would they even give him the paper? The food slot in the door was always sealed unless it was being used, and the door itself had some sort of rubber under it so there wasn't a gap between it and the floor.

After a few moments, Alphys pulled their phone out and looked at it. Their face twisted a bit and they wrote something else.

_I need to go :(_

Sans stared at the paper for several moments before realizing that the two dots and curved line were meant to represent a frown.

Alphys waved their hand again, and Sans carefully pulled one of his paws away from Papyrus' back and mimicked the gesture. The monster's face broke into a wide smile, and they waved their hand a little more vigorously before gathering their things and leaving. Sans watched them go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've planned the story out a bit better, so now I have a rough idea of how long it will be. It should be eight or nine chapters plus an epilogue in total. I have also decided not to continue this story into the bros living in Snowdin and being raised by Grillby. However, if I have the motivation when I'm done, I might write a sequel. We'll see.


	3. please stop thinking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finals are annoying. But they're over now!
> 
> Beta'd by the lovely [therandomtiger](http://therandomtiger.tumblr.com/). Ze really gave me some great ideas, and got me unstuck a few times.
> 
> Thank you so much for all of your kudos and bookmarks and kind words! You all are amazing.

It was too quiet without Papyrus in the room. Sans was used to his energy filling the small space, but the scientist had taken Papyrus earlier, despite Sans' best efforts, and so now all he could do was sit and worry. Everything he tried thinking about, everything he tried doing, always seemed to circle back to _what was the scientist doing with Papyrus?_

How did Papyrus do it? How did he sit in the room all day, alone, without driving himself out of his mind? It was probably that he just didn't have as much to worry about. Thankfully, Sans had managed to shield him from much of what the scientist did in the lab.

But that just meant that Sans had a far better idea of what could be happening to Papyrus.

He tried to distract himself from the images flooding his head. It was hard, but he finally wrenched his thoughts over to Alphys. The monster hadn't been back for three days. Well, three times the lights had turned on, anyway. Sans knew that a day was different from how often the scientist visited, he just didn't know how. He'd heard the scientist use the word to refer to some period of time passing, and somehow to light leaving? So Sans had decided to use it to try to keep track of when the scientist came and left.

Sans knew that words have power. They had to have, otherwise the scientist wouldn't care if they talked or not. Plus, when he had a word for something, it was always easier to keep track of it. To remember it.

Will anyone remember him if he disappears? He has a name, a word, so... But who knew his name, anyway? The scientist, of course, but Sans wasn't sure if he would want that. The scientist would probably be the one to make him disappear anyway. Papyrus did, but he's young and the scientist could probably bend his mind to make him forget. It would be like he never existed.

Papyrus. How was he doing? What was the scientist doing to him? There were some things that didn't hurt much, hopefully the scientist wanted that sort of data today. But there were a lot of others that were really painful, and...

Stop. Sans wrenched his mind away from that train of thought again. He needed something else to focus on.

The code. 485 672 798 815 1914. Sans repeated the numbers to himself, focusing on the shape of each individual number, the way they sounded, they way they felt embossed into his mind. He envisioned the way the scientist's hands moved when typing it into the lab's door. He counted them off on his fingers, four then eight then five, six then seven then two, seven then nine then eight, eight then one then five, one then nine then one again then four. He pictured groups of vials, one for each number. He, he...

This wasn't working. He couldn't focus on the code for long, not like Papyrus could. It had been long enough since the last code-change that Sans felt like he'd used up all of the ways he could distract himself with it. Maybe if he added the last code?

No, then he might get them confused. He needed something else to think about. What had put him on that train of thought again?

Alphys. Right. They hadn't been back, even though they said there would be a next time. Did they forget? Had the scientist told them not to come? Sans wanted to see them again. It would make sense if the scientist put a stop to their visits.

Sans buried his face in his hands and tried not to think.

Eventually, after entirely too long spent fighting with his mind, the door opened. Sans' head snapped up. The scientist had his hand on Papyrus' back, pushing him forward into the room.

There was gauze over his eyes. Sans reached out to him, to guide him forward; as soon as Sans touched his arm he rushed forward to hug Sans tightly, burying his face in Sans' chest. Sans rubbed his back gently as he hiccuped a few sobs.

“Hurts,” Papyrus choked out. Sans restrained himself from clenching one of his hands into a fist, and glanced up at the door. It was closed. Good, that meant it was safe to talk. Sans kept his hands moving in a steady rhythm, calming Papyrus down, and eventually, when the sobs had subsided to shaking, he knelt down and tilted up Papyrus' face so that he could see it better.

There weren't any marks around the gauze, so whatever the scientist had done, it must have only affected Papyrus' eyes. Not that that wasn't bad in and of itself, but it could have been worse. It could have been so much worse.

“pap,” Sans said quietly. Papyrus tilted his face up a bit more, pointing it at Sans' face like he was looking at him. “eighth number.”

Papyrus made a quiet noise. “Nine,” he said, and while his voice was still shaky, he wasn't sobbing anymore.

“and the fourth?” Sans watched Papyrus' face fade from distress to concentration.

“Six,” Papyrus answered, and his voice was more confidant. Sans smiled.

“that's right. and what do those two together make?”

Papyrus' brow ridge furrowed briefly. “Fifteen?”

“good job!” It had taken Sans a while to figure out how to add numbers together. Papyrus was such a fast learner. It made Sans proud.

Papyrus pulled at the edge of the gauze a bit. “Take off?” he asked.

Sans frowned. “what did the scientist say?”

Papyrus' face fell and he shook his head. Sans pulled him back into a hug, holding him tightly, and Papyrus hugged back with just as much force.

“Said it would be dis-guys,” Papyrus mumbled. “Might not work. Did it work?”

Sans wasn't sure what “dis-guys” meant, but he did know there were plenty of things that the scientist did that didn't work. He sighed.

“i don't know,” he said truthfully, the only thing he really could say. He stroked the crown of Papyrus' head lightly, and Papyrus leaned into the touch.

The lights shut off. Sans glanced out the window, then said, “come on, let's get some sleep.”

He pulled Papyrus over to their blankets. “you probably shouldn't shift, it'd move the gauze.” Papyrus nodded tiredly.

Sans shifted and curled up around his brother, hoping he could glean some comfort from being wrapped up safely by Sans. It took both of them a long time to fall asleep.

At some point, Sans thought he heard something click against the door. His mostly asleep mind jerked awake. Was Alphys there? He looked out the window, but there was nothing there. Nothing else happened for several moments, and Sans put his head back down and let himself fall back into an uneasy sleep.

Light flooded into the room, startling Sans' eyes open. He hadn't slept for very long. He glanced down at Papyrus, who was curled up and clutching Sans' tail in his hands. Sans smiled fondly, and shifted onto two feet.

Having lost what he had been holding, Papyrus startled awake. His head twisted around, and Sans watched his face grow more panicked as he realized he couldn't see.

“hey, bro,” Sans said, and Papyrus snapped his head in the direction of Sans' voice. “remember yesterday?”

He hated to remind Papyrus of whatever had happened, but it was worth it to see most of the panic drain out of his expression.

“Still hurts,” Papyrus said, but his voice was steady. Sans itched to try to heal him, no matter how draining it would be, but the scientist would know. The scientist always knew, and Sans did not want to mess up one of his experiments, because then he might need to do it again. He ran his fingers along several cracks in his right humerus at the thought.

Sans shook himself and leaned over to help Papyrus stand up. Papyrus wobbled a bit on his feet, but smiled up at Sans gratefully. The ties on the front of his gown had come undone, and Sans knelt down to tie them up again.

The door opened just as Sans finished with the second tie. He got to his feet and looked up at the scientist, who was looking at them impassively.

“Papyrus,” the scientist said softly, and Sans held back a wince. He'd known that the scientist would probably just take Papyrus again, but he hadn't wanted it to be true. Hopefully it was just a check-up and nothing would happen.

Sans led Papyrus over to the door. The scientist took over then, putting his large hand on Papyrus' back and leading him out of the room. Sans watched as the door closed with a click. Another day of agonizing over Papyrus.

He shifted and curled up tightly into a ball. It wasn't as comforting without Papyrus there to curl around, but it was something. Closing his eyes, he tried to fall asleep. But... How could he sleep when Papyrus was in the lab without him?

Sans rolled over onto his back. In this form all he could see were the blankets bunched up around his head, but they were more interesting than he ceiling, anyway. He started counting the the strings he could see. One, two... he got to twenty before becoming exasperated and flipping back over.

When was Papyrus going to come back? No, don't think about that. Think about...

Think about Alphys. They were interesting. They could occupy his mind. But this was the fourth day that they hadn't come, and what if they never came back? Would Sans forget about them? He didn't want to forget about them. No, that wasn't a good thing to think about either.

Maybe... what sort of story Papyrus might like to hear when he gets back. Yeah. Sans sat up. It had to be happy, of course. What sort of brother would Sans be if he told Papyrus something unhappy? Not a very good one.

Maybe he could tell Papyrus about what life could be like when the scientist gets everything he wants. They would be left alone in the room, and the lights would stay off but food would come frequently and they'd always have enough to eat. And they'd be able to use their magic whenever they wanted to.

Sans didn't really believe that would ever happen. The scientist would probably just want more when he had what he wanted now. But Papyrus would like the story. He always liked happy endings.

Just as Sans started to move again, trying to find a comfortable position so he could maybe fall asleep, the door opened. Sans jumped to his paws, then shifted up to his feet, as the scientist herded Papyrus into the room.

Papyrus stumbled a bit and Sans rushed forward to catch him. The gauze was still over his eyes, but he wasn't crying in pain, so that was good. He hadn't been in the lab very long, thankfully. Probably only the checkup they had hoped for.

The scientist held something out in one hand. “Sans,” he said, voice quiet, and Sans took the blocky gray object. The scientist nodded and stepped away, shutting the door behind him.

“want any?” Sans asked, and Papyrus shook his head. Sans pressed on the object a little, and the waxy coating cracked a bit and gave under his finger, sinking into the semi-firm paste inside. Same as always.

Sans took a bite. He wasn't terribly fond of the food the scientist gave them. It was sticky and mealy and always stuck on the inside of his mouth. Honestly he would have chosen to go hungry and not eat at all, except the scientist always knew when he did that. And besides. The food was far better than the injections.

He was done quickly, scraping the last bit of wax off of the roof of his mouth and swallowing it. Papyrus had sat down while Sans was eating, and was now resting the back of his head against the wall. His gown was tied in messy loops, the handiwork of a small child who couldn't see, and Sans smiled fondly before kneeling down to fix them.

“want to hear a story?” he asked as he untangled the ties.

Papyrus nodded. Then he shook his head and scowled deeply.

Sans frowned a little. “i don't know what that means.”

Papyrus huffed. “Tired. Still hurts some. Want sleep.” He paused, than said in a plaintive voice, “But story sounds nice too?”

Amused, Sans patted his brother's head. “of course. you lay down and try to sleep, and i'll tell you a story while you're trying.”

Sans helped Papyrus over to the blankets and sat down beside him. Papyrus curled up against Sans' leg and sighed softly.

“someday,” Sans began, “the scientist is going to get everything he wants.” Papyrus relaxed more as Sans continued to talk, and not too much time passed before he was snoring gently. Sans smiled, and watched his brother's chest rise and fall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Alphys this chapter, sorry. She was going to have a scene at the end, but Sans' internal monologue got away from me, and I feel like this ends in a good place. She'll be back next chapter, don't worry.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Let me know what you think!


	4. exhale desire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this got away from me. I have given in to the fact that the chapters are long and just going to keep getting longer.
> 
> Beta'd once again by the fantastic [ therandomtiger](http://therandomtiger.tumblr.com/). Ze helped me quite a lot with various places I got stuck, and even helped me completely re-write a scene that just wasn't working.
> 
> I should mention that Sans and Papyrus were created with excellent memories for numbers. They are able to memorize the codes quickly, and can do math long before children are generally able to. They don't realize it's abnormal.
> 
> Please note that I have added the "Graphic Depictions of Violence" archive warning! It isn't relevant yet, but it will be in the future.

Something tapped on the window, startling Sans awake. He'd fallen asleep slumped against the wall next to Papyrus, and his spine cracked loudly as he straightened up. Sans winced and looked down at Papyrus, but the smaller skeleton just shifted a bit and slept on. Smiling, Sans looked up at the window, hoping but not expecting to see Alphys there.

Weak light emanated from the window, and Alphys had their hands pressed up against the glass. They met Sans' eyes and smiled, and Sans had to push past his instinctive panic to smile shakily back. He was happy to see them, after all. They took one hand off the glass and waved it, and, remembering how they had seemed so happy when Sans mimicked the gesture last time, he waved his hand back. Alphys' smile grew wider, and Sans couldn't hold back a shudder.

Alphys' smile fell a little. They looked away, and after a moment started rummaging through the bag they had slung over one shoulder. They looked like they were getting frustrated, and they pointed the small light into their bag, throwing strange shadows on the walls and ceiling of the hallway. Sans blinked and made his eyes glow to give them some more light. He could see fine in the dark, but Alphys seemed to have trouble with the low light.

They straightened back up with some paper in hand and gave Sans a grateful look. They wrote something slowly on the paper, then turned it around so that Sans could read it.

_How can I give you things?_

Things? What did they want to give him? It took Sans a moment to remember that they'd said that they would bring paper for him. He glanced at the door, then back at Alphys. The only thing that he could think of was the food slot, but that was always sealed. At least from the inside...

Now that he thought about it, there wasn't a code on the slot. Maybe it just couldn't be opened from inside. The door couldn't be opened from the inside, after all, but then again it had a code on the outside.

Sans pointed at the food slot anyway. It was the only way he could think to get something into the room without a code. While they both kept track of the lab's code, Sans was usually too tired after what happened in the lab to pay attention to what the scientist keyed into this room's door, so he wasn't sure what it was this code-change. And he didn't have any way to let Alphys know what it was anyway.

Alphys looked over at the door, brow furrowing. Their face cleared in realization after a moment, and they moved over to the door, disappearing from view. The food slot rattled, and, after a few seconds, slid open.

“Th-there we go,” a voice said. Sans blinked, surprised. Alphys' voice didn't sound like any voice that he'd heard before, although he'd only ever heard Papyrus', the scientist's, and his own, so perhaps he shouldn't be too surprised. It was distinctive, their words formed in a different way than he'd heard before, and it was high pitched in a way that was different to Papyrus' young voice. It was nice.

Papyrus stirred. Sans immediately looked back down to see him move a little and then freeze. Sans was about to say something when Papyrus touched the edge of the gauze and relaxed a bit. Good, he remembered on his own this time.

“Um,” Alphys started, and Papyrus' head whipped in the direction of the voice. He made a soft, distressed sound and scrambled into Sans' lap.

“shhh,” Sans said quietly, hugging Papyrus. “it's alphys. remember the monster that came by a few days ago?” Papyrus had only been awake the first time they'd visited, but the memory calmed him down a little. He pressed his face into Sans' ribcage and nodded. Sans looked back over at the door, where Alphys had pressed one of their eyes up to the food slot and was watching the brothers. They didn't look upset that Sans had spoken, but it was hard to tell without seeing the rest of their face. Sans watched them warily, his eyes dimming some.

“Uh,” they squeaked. “H-hi?” There was a brief pause. “I, uh, I di-didn't realize we could talk like this. Heh.”

We? Did they want Sans to talk? No, they wouldn't. They were probably going to ask him questions. Sans watched as they moved away from the door, and disappointment sank into his ribs. Were they not going to give him the paper after all?

Sans watched as Alphys appeared in the window. They were smiling widely; Sans felt uneasy.

“Th-there,” they said. Their voice was muffled and Sans tilted his head to hear it better. “Now you can see me, too!”

Sans nodded carefully. He could, in fact, see them in the window. Papyrus couldn't, of course, but he had removed his face from Sans' chest and was pointing it towards the door.

Alphys was quiet for a moment, the smile on their face beginning to look off. Sans watched them uneasily. “So, uh,” they said, rubbing the back of their neck. “What, ah, what are your names?”

Sans blinked. “'m sans,” he said, trying to be loud enough to be heard but soft enough not to draw any anger.

“Papyrus!” the younger skeleton chirped. Sans winced a little at Papyrus' enthusiasm, but Alphys' smile looked better so it must have been okay.

“Th-those are nice names.” They looked between the brothers and their smile faded. “Wh-what happened to your eyes?” Immediately Alphys clapped their hands over their mouth. “S-sor-sorry,” they stuttered out.

Sans was confused for a moment before he realized they were talking to Papyrus. Dread crept into his mind. He wanted to turn around, keep himself between Papyrus and Alphys, keep their attention off of his brother, but that never worked when Papyrus already had their attention. 

Papyrus frowned. “The scientist gave me new eyes,” he said slowly, forming a complete sentence like the scientist always wanted them to do in response to his questions. Sans frowned deeply. New eyes?

“O-oh,” Alphys said quietly. Sans could barely make out the word, and scooted a bit closer to the door so he could hear better.

Alphys looked between them, and then their eyes lit up. “Oh!” they exclaimed, and began digging through their bag. “I brought something for you two.” Sans blinked. Were they going to give him the paper now?

“Mom said I was wasting yarn,” they said. Their voice became muffled as they stuck almost their entire head into their bag. Sans wasn't sure how that would help them find what they were looking for. “She told Dad, _'This girl has too much time on her hands,'_ ” they – no, she, according to what she had just said – continued. “But Dad said – Ah ha! Here it is!”

Alphys emerged from the bag clutching something floppy and lumpy in her hand. Sans looked between it and her face, wondering what it was. It obviously wasn't paper, but he had no clue what it could be. Papyrus was swiveling his head to 'look' between Sans and the door, confused.

Alphys' cheeks darkened at the blank look on Sans' face. “I-it's a scarf. I, well, I-i made it myself.” She frowned a little. “I th-thought you might like some color in your room?”

Sans nodded vigorously. It was, well, it was something different. Something that wasn't white, and it was small enough to hide under their blankets. And he didn't want to make Alphys mad. She couldn't do anything to them physically from the other side of the door, but she might tell the scientist, or she might leave and never come back.

The smile crept back onto Alphys' face, and she moved over to the door and stuffed the scarf into the slot. It got a bit stuck, and Sans put Papyrus down on the floor and stood up, walking over to the door to help pull it in.

Once Sans was holding the scarf in his hands, he was able to examine it more closely. It was folded up, and when he shook it out it unfolded into a long, multicolored strip of fabric. The holes between the strings – no, what had Alphys called them? Right, yarn – were large enough for him to stick his fingers through.

Sans started wrapping it around Papyrus, who was stroking the soft yarn in awe. When Sans ran out of scarf, he had managed to completely wrap up his brother's upper body and head. Sans smiled widely until he heard a giggle through the door.

He held back a wince at the sound. Had she not been trained not to laugh yet? He wondered when that happened for monsters, when they were tickled over and over again until they were as empty of laughter as the scientist was. Sans looked back at Alphys. He hoped that never had to happen to her, but... hope had never gotten him very far.

After several moments of silence, Alphys pulled out her phone and looked at the screen. Her eyes widened. “M-my mom is texting me. I need to go.” She smiled sadly, then glanced at the door. “Sh-should I...?”

Sans nodded, and Alphys closed the food slot. She walked back to the window and waved. Sans waved back and watched her walk away.

Several moments passed, and then Papyrus tugged at the edge of Sans' gown. Sans looked down to see that he had mostly disentangled himself from the scarf and had gotten to his feet.

“Coming back?” he asked.

Sans sighed. “i hope so.”

They hid the scarf under the blankets. It was really the only place they could hide something in the room, really, and it would be easy to pull it out and look at it when they were alone in the room.

The next day, the scientist took the gauze off Papyrus' eyes. According to what Papyrus had been willing to say, the scientist had been disappointed. Sans certainly couldn't tell any difference.

Alphys was surprised and happy to see that Papyrus' eyes were better when she came back the next night. She didn't ask him about what had happened with them, thankfully, and instead talked idly while pulling some food out of her bag. Sans watched her, interested. The only reason he knew it was food was that she was eating it – it wasn't gray or blocky at all. Alphys noticed that he was watching, and offered both of them something round that she called cookies.

Sans was hesitant to try it, but Papyrus dove right in. He took a bite and his eyes widened, staring down at is cookie like it was the best thing ever, like it was the scarf and Sans combined. Sans smiled at his brother's reaction and took a bite of his own.

Was... was his mouth supposed to feel like this? He'd never felt anything like it. He'd tasted things before, but most of it had been things that he scientist had given him, and none of those had been like this. None of those had made a smile curl onto his face, or made him want to share them with Papyrus. None of those had been good like this was.

Sans watched Papyrus savor the rest of his cookie, then offered him the rest of the other one. Papyrus looked up at Sans with wide eyes, clearly torn between letting Sans experience this new thing and having more for himself, so Sans broke the cookie in two and gave the larger piece to Papyrus.

He finished his cookie and looked up just in time to see something dark and sad cross Alphys' face.

The next day, the scientist took them both to a large room through the lab. He had them lift large weights with their blue magic, and only talked to tell them when to add more weight. It didn't take long for Papyrus to begin to get tired. Sans badly wanted to help him out, but he didn't dare. The scientist would know, he was sure. Papyrus became more frustrated the more tired he grew. Sans watched him, concerned. In the instant that Papyrus seemed to have reached his limit, something shifted.

Sans nearly lost the grip he had on his magic, the weights he was holding in the air dropping several inches before he regained his concentration. He gaped at Papyrus' face, and out of the corner of his eye he saw the scientist staring, blank faced.

Papyrus' eyes... they had changed. They were no longer hollow sockets mimicking the appearance of monster eyes. Instead, there were actual eyeballs in the sockets, adding something eerie and almost ridiculous to his expression.

The weights Papyrus was holding up trembled in the air for a second, then fell to the ground. Papyrus dropped to his knees. Without them even really appearing to change, the eyeballs receded back into his normal eyes.

“Lift it again,” the scientist said.

Papyrus looked up wearily. Sans watched him screw up his face and engulf the weights in the blue magic. The weights lifted several inches before falling to the ground again. Papyrus bit back a sob.

The scientist made a quick gesture at Sans, and he set his weights down on the ground around him. The experiment had changed. All Sans could do was watch helplessly as the scientist tried again and again to force Papyrus' new eyes back into being.

By the time the scientist decided that he was done for the day, the eyes had only appeared twice more and Papyrus was swaying on his feet. Sans scooped him up before he could fall over and carried him back to the room. Papyrus fell asleep near instantly, not even bothering to pull out the scarf, and Sans drifted off soon after.

When the lights woke them up the next morning, Sans couldn't decide if he was disappointed that Alphys hadn't come or not. They had both gotten enough sleep, uninterrupted by a nighttime visit, but Sans had wanted to see her. He hoped she would come back the next night.

The scientist led them both to the lab, and Sans noticed that the pattern of keys pressed was different than the day before. It was code-change. Sans had known it was getting close, and was glad that it hadn't happened while Papyrus couldn't see.

He focused on the scientist's hand movements on the keypad. 621 635 621 509 7720. Sans frowned. The scientist didn't repeat groups of numbers like that very often. But he would have to wait until the next day to see if he'd gotten it right. Unless... he hefted Papyrus up a bit more, getting a more secure grip on him, and hoped that Papyrus had also caught the code.

That day proceeded much like the end of the last, with the scientist pushing Papyrus and almost completely ignoring Sans.

Sans stood to the side and watched as the scientist sat in his chair, his pinprick pupils cataloging Papyrus' every move, flicking back and forth as they looked for something that simply wasn't there anymore. 

It was only a matter of time before Sans would have to do _something_ , he knew. 

“Run, but don't shift,” the scientist said, conjuring several balls of energy to chase Papyrus around the room. Papyrus ran quickly, quicker than is seemed he should be able to on his two short legs. Sans watched as Papyrus completed several laps around the room, always just ahead of the balls of energy.

The scientist hadn't even looked at him since they got here. Why was he here? Sans didn't enjoy sitting in their room praying nothing bad happened to Papyrus, but the scientist only brought them both out if he wanted to experiment on both of them. 

Slowly, Papyrus began to lag. One of the balls of energy caught up to him and hit his legs, causing him to stumble and fall. Sans clenched his fists and resisted the urge to go help Papyrus to his feet. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the scientist frowning, and he dissipated the balls of energy with a sharp gesture.

"Sans." Sans' head snapped towards the scientist, who had a hand pointing at him. "Dodge Papyrus' attacks. Papyrus, attack him. And be sure to hit him."

Sans ground his teeth together, but got ready. This wouldn't be hard. The scientist was a lot better at aiming blasts at him than Papyrus was with his bones, after all. 

Sure enough, Papyrus telegraphed his attacks every bit as much now as before, giving Sans plenty of warning. Usually then the scientist would correct him, tell him to focus on feinting. 

He didn't. The scientist sighed and repeated his instructions. 

"Hit him, Papyrus."

Papyrus had already been trying. His initial hesitance had quickly given way to determination, and now he paused occasionally before letting out new patterns, clustering hits, anything to hit his mark.

Sans dodged every one of them. It wasn't always easy, but he knew he could continue for quite some time, if he had to, unlike the more frantic blasts from the scientist. 

Papyrus' eyes almost flicked over to the scientist, but instead he tried to stay focused on hitting Sans. Just once. 

Bone after bone flew threw the air, hitting the floor, an empty table, a wayward dummy. Papyrus let out a growl of a breath. He sucked in another, and when he opened his eyes they had changed. 

Sans was almost hit, then, as the part of brain focused more on the new eyeballs than the new attack making a shallow arc towards him. 

He leaped onto the battered table, ready to look for the next safe space to dodge to –

A pen tapped against the table twice. They both froze, Papyrus' eyes flickering, but the scientist just shook his head and gestured for them to continue. He was smiling. Sans felt a pit grow in his stomach that had nothing to do with the exercise.

The experiments ended for the day shortly after. Papyrus wasn't nearly as tired as he had been the day before, and so when they were back in the room and the lights had turned off, Sans pulled out the scarf for Papyrus to play with.

After a moment, Sans asked, “hey, bro. did you see the code?”

Papyrus nodded, and looked up at Sans. “621... 635... 621... um, 509 7720. Part of it repeated.”

“yeah, that's what I saw too.” He was glad he hadn't seen it wrong. “he doesn't repeat parts very often.”

Papyrus shook his head, his attention back on the scarf. Sans watched, smiling fondly as he shifted and began wrestling with the striped fabric. Several moments passed as Papyrus growled at and pounced on Alphys' handiwork while Sans looked on in amusement and occasionally tugged on the scarf when Papyrus wasn't looking.

Something out in the hallway caught his attention, and Sans looked out the window. A dim light was getting slightly brighter, and he almost panicked for a moment before realizing that this was probably Alphys coming to visit.

She came into view of the window, and Sans waved his hand at her before she was able to wave to him. The smile already on her face widened, and she waved back happily.

After opening the food slot, Alphys went back over to the window and sat down. There was silence for a few moments, before she shifted a bit. She wiped her hands on her shirt, muttering something about grime and dirt, and opened up her messenger bag. Alphys pulled a small bag out and offered it to them, saying that the contents of the bag were something called 'potato chips'.

Sans let Papyrus eat most of them, eating only the ones Papyrus offered him. They tasted... different than the cookies, but just as good. It was hard to compare them, but both far better than anything else he'd ever tasted before.

He looked over at Alphys in time to catch her scowling into space with the same dark look that had been on her face last time. He wondered what was wrong. For some reason, he wasn't scared. Maybe he should be, but something about Alphys made him feel safe. Of course, that was dangerous, but there was nothing he could think to do about it.

After a moment, she noticed Sans was looking at her and brightened. "H-hey. W-want to see some pictures?"

Sans nodded, and Alphys pulled out her phone. She tapped the screen a few times and then turned it so that the screen was visible through the window. Sans sat down next to the glass, and Papyrus climbed into his lap, the bag from the potato chips still in his hands. He folded it and then smoothed it out over and over while Alphys flipped through various images on the phone's screen.

“Um, this is our house,” she said, showing Sans a picture of some sort of structure. She made the picture larger and said, “y-you can see Mom and Dad out in front.” There were, in fact, two monsters standing in front of the structure. They both looked like Alphys, but in different ways. One was yellow, like Alphys, but large and squishy-looking, while the other was a lot smaller and covered in bright green scales. Well that solved the mystery of what a 'mom' was. And a 'dad', come to think of it.

After a few more pictures, Alphys paused. “I, uh, I don't really have anything else to show you. Um. H-how was y-your day?”

Sans looked at her, wary, but decided from her expression that she wasn't asking about the experiments, or Papyrus' eyes. He tried to figure out a good way to answer when Papyrus piped up.

“Code-change today!” Papyrus looked up at Alphys brightly, then returned his focus to the bag in his hands.

Alphys looked confused. “C-code change?”

Sans nodded. “when the scientist changes the key code for the lab and all the other doors.” How did Alphys not know this? Of course, she didn't live here, as far as Sans could tell, but still. “bro, can you tell alphys the lab code?”

“Yeah!” Papyrus looked back up, eyes wide. “It's 621... 635 621... um, 509 7720.” He looked at Sans and added, “Part of it repeated.”

Sans put his hand on Papyrus' skull and shook it playfully. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Alphys cover a smile.

She pressed on her phone's screen a few times, then asked, “C-can you tell me again? I w-wanted to write it down.” She glanced up at Sans. “I-if that's o-okay, of c-course.”

Sans nodded and repeated the code slowly. Alphys tapped on her screen a few times, then gave Sans a smile. “Th-thank you.”

Taken aback, all Sans could think to do was nod again. Why was she thanking him? He was just doing as he was asked to. There was no reason to thank him for that.

After a few more moments, the silence only broken by the crinkling of Papyrus continuing to fold and unfold the potato chip bag, Alphys' phone made a sound. She looked at the screen and made a face.

“I, uh, I need to go.” She stood up and waved her hand. “Goodbye!”

Sans waved too, and Papyrus looked up and mimicked the gesture. Alphys' smile returned, and she closed the food slot and headed off down the hall.

Papyrus yawned. Sans looked down at him, and Papyrus smiled back up.

“okay, pap, time for sleep.” Sans pushed his brother out of his lap gently. Papyrus picked up the scarf and tucked both it and the bag under the blankets carefully. Then he shifted and curled up on top of the whole pile.

Sans smiled fondly. He shifted and crawled up onto the blankets as well, then curled up around his brother. It didn't take long for him to fall asleep that night.

The lights woke both of them up. Papyrus sat up and yawned, then stretched himself out, tail wagging. Sans stretched as well, shifting onto two feet and pulling his arms up above his head.

The scientist showed up not too long after they were both on their feet. There was a strange glint in his eyes that Sans did not like at all.

“Papyrus,” the scientist said, and there was something extra in his voice that Sans couldn't place but made his bones feel hollow.

Sans didn't dare pull out the scarf or the bag while Papyrus was gone, half-convinced that the scientist would come by any moment and see them. He tried to focus on the new code, 621 635 621 509 7720, 621 635 621 509 7720, 621 635 621 509 7720, but his mind was jumping around everywhere and he just knew that the scientist was torturing his brother somehow.

The food that was dropped in through the slot was even less appetizing than usual. He was aware of the gritty sticky texture, the way it coated his mouth with a faint yet unwanted taste, how it stuck to his teeth and his finger bones and the inside of his mouth. He felt like he needed to expel it from his system even though it was absorbed by his magic the moment he swallowed.

It took forever for the scientist to bring Papyrus back. Sans was about out of his mind with worry when the door finally opened and a small figure darted in, racing into Sans and clinging to him tightly.

“bro?” he asked worriedly, kneeling down and hugging Papyrus. Papyrus clung tighter, shaking his head and hiccuping out a sob.

Sans tightened the hug. “oh, papyrus,” he whispered, resting his forehead against the crown of his brother's skull. They stayed like that, clinging to each other, long after the lights shut off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, much more Alphys. Poor girl is starting to figure out that something is really wrong.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed!


	5. skin will scream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE NOTE THE TAGS AND ARCHIVE WARNING! The majority of them are relevant this chapter. This chapter is very intense. Please be careful.
> 
> If you need more specific trigger warnings, please see the end note.
> 
> Once again beta'd by [therandomtiger](http://therandomtiger.tumblr.com/). Ze gave me a great deal of advice and pushed me when I was unable to figure out how to put down my thoughts. This chapter would be a lot worse without zem!
> 
> Also thanks to [local_doom_void](http://archiveofourown.org/users/local_doom_void) who read this blind before I posted it and let me know it was not too confusing to understand. I really appreciate it!

Sans felt uneasy as he followed the scientist to the lab, Papyrus in his arms. It had been so long since the scientist had taken Papyrus before, and now he was experimenting on him almost every day. The scientist had come to the room that morning with a faintly pleased expression on his face, and Sans knew that whatever was going to happen today was going to be even less pleasant than usual.

The door to the lab swung open – and, yes, they had seen the code correctly – and the scientist rushed them in, giving them their injections rapidly before opening up the door to the large room again. Sans rubbed his radius gingerly and helped Papyrus down from the table. They both followed the scientist into the large room, and Sans' bones filled with dread when he saw what was inside.

The room was split in half, two mirrored obstacle courses conjured to fill the space. Sans glanced down at Papyrus, and was surprised to see him grinding his teeth together, glancing between Sans and the courses. His shoulders were slumped, and there was a clear mix of nerves and despair on his face.

Sans felt his heart crumble. What had the scientist done to put that kind of expression on Papyrus' face? All Sans wanted to do was scoop his brother up in a tight hug and protect him, but he could feel the scientist's eyes on his back. There was nothing he could do except feel his heart fall to pieces.

The course itself wasn't too challenging. There were a lot of things to dodge and climb, and Sans had to shift several times, sometimes quite rapidly, in order to get past some of the obstacles. Sans reveled in the rush and the shifting, and he could almost forget what was happening. But then he would hear some sort of whimper from the other side of the room, and he would snap back to reality.

Sans couldn't see Papyrus, the conjured walls were all fully solid, but the occasional sound from Papyrus' side of the room told Sans that he wasn't doing too well. Sans wanted to barrel through the walls and help him out, but he couldn't. The only way he could help, really, was to finish the obstacle course. Sans knew what would be waiting at the end, and he really didn't want to get there.

Sans scaled a steep wall, leaping from narrow platform to narrow platform just large enough for his four paws. He stretched and jumped up over the top of the wall. There was no ledge on the top of the wall, as he had been expecting, and he tumbled down the other side, just managing to land on his paws.

The area he landed in was large and square, surrounded on all sides by sheer walls he had no hope of scaling. A small gap opened in one across from him, and three small green creatures hopped into the space. Sans knew instantly he was at the end of the course. He closed his eyes, pained, and then opened them again and pulled the creatures' souls into a fight.

He knew what he had to do. He'd done it before, more times than he wanted to remember. Sans began pulling his magic into shape, watching the creatures. They seemed to be confused, and, oh no, they were talking to each other. He didn't understand what they were saying, but they were _talking_ , they were _monsters_. He couldn't, this wasn't, he couldn't do this to _monsters_...

The green monsters seemed too confused to attack him, and Sans wished he could delay this, wished he didn't have to do this, but he could feel the scientist watching him, already disapproving of the delay. Sans gripped tight to his magic, the kind that let him shift into this form, and focused it up through his mouth.

The beam of light that shot from his open mouth vaporized all three of the small monsters.

Sans stared blankly at the dust floating in the air for a moment, wondering if that was what would happen to him when he died. Echoes of fatigue pulled at his bones, and his legs began to tremble. Sans shook his head sharply – no, that wasn't going to happen again, he'd done as the scientist asked, he killed them, he killed... them... Sans put his head down on his paws and watched the dust settle into piles on the ground.

Some time later, a soft noise startled Sans back to himself. He turned his head to see Papyrus standing behind him, tail between his legs and whimpering quietly. Sans struggled to his paws, but before he could move to comfort Papyrus, the walls dissolved around them.

Right. The scientist. He walked over to them, shoes clicking sharply on the floor with every step. Papyrus whimpered and actually shied away. The scientist frowned, and Sans looked between his brother and the scientist, confused and scared and too tired to comprehend what was going on.

“Shift,” the scientist said blankly, and Sans forced himself up onto two legs. He wobbled a little, but managed not to fall over. Papyrus managed to shift as well, and shrunk in on himself as though to make himself as small on two legs as he was on four. Sans felt himself frown.

Papyrus clung to Sans as he carried him back to the room. Sans blinked, and focused on not dropping his brother. He felt like he could barely carry his own weigh, let alone Papyrus, and he walked behind the scientist unsteadily. The scientist was muttering something about dirt, but whatever he was saying wasn't directed at either of them, so Sans just let the words fade into the background.

He stumbled and nearly fell making his way into the room, regaining his balance just in time to not tumble forward and crush Papyrus. Sans managed to get to the pile of blankets before crumpling to his knees. Papyrus had buried his face into Sans' chest and was crying incoherently. All Sans could think to do was hug him tightly. There was nothing else to do, really.

Sans caught a movement out of the corner of his eye, but when he looked there was nothing there. He shook his head sharply. He'd had plenty of sleep. He had done exactly what the scientist had asked. He could sleep whenever he wanted and _nothing was happening_.

After a while, Papyrus drifted off into an uneasy sleep. He kept twitching and whimpering, all the while erratically shifting between forms. Sans continued to hold him tightly, unwilling to sleep even though the lights had gone off a while ago and his bones were heavy from fatigue. Something was going to happen, he could feel it. He wasn't sure what, but the scientist had been acting strange and Sans couldn't shake the feeling of anticipation that had engulfed him.

Flashes of light and movements kept drawing his eyes, but there was never anything there. One light in particular seemed very persistent in not wanting to go away, and he almost growled at it in frustration before realizing that, no, that light was actually there. Sans blinked a few times before making out Alphys.

She was looking at them through the window, and Sans honestly couldn't make out the expression on her face. He tried to smile at her, but his face felt all wrong, and he let the expression drop. He couldn't even wave his hand at her because he just couldn't let go of Papyrus.

Alphys wrinkled part of her face and started moving again. Sans followed her with his eyes as she went over and opened the food slot.

“H-hey,” she said. She moved back to the window so they could see each other. “Is, ah, is everything o-okay?”

Sans made a noise. “no,” he said quietly.

Alphys looked down. “O-oh.” She looked like she wanted to say more, but couldn't figure out what. They sat there in silence for several moments.

Papyrus broke the silence, jolting awake with a cry. His head shot up and he looked around wildly. Sans made a soft calming noise, and Papyrus looked up at him.

“Sans,” he choked out, and started crying again. Sans stroked Papyrus' head, trying to calm him down, but Sans' hand was shaking badly, clattering against his skull. Eventually, Sans gave up and put his arm around Papyrus' back, clenching his hand into the fabric of Papyrus' gown. He rested his forehead on the top of Papyrus' skull.

Papyrus calmed down after a while. He pulled back a little and looked up at Sans. “Said... said I had to...” He sniffed a bit. “Said I had to be first. Said you... said you were _better_ than me.” Papyrus buried his head back into Sans' chest, and Sans looked down at him, shocked.

“Sans...” Papyrus spoke quietly. “'m scared, Sans.”

Sans tightened his arms slowly. “pap...,” he said, at a complete loss.

A small cough, like someone clearing their throat, sounded through the room. Both of the skeletons jerked their heads up and looked towards the door, where the sound had come from. Sans caught sight of Alphys and relaxed minorly. He forgot she was there. Papyrus looked around with wild eyes for a moment before his gaze settled on the window and Alphys through it.

Sans watched her face. She had heard them talking, and she did not look happy. He still couldn't place her expression, but it wasn't very pleased.

“What happened?” Alphys asked, and Sans almost flinched at how distressed her voice sounded, how sharp it was without her perpetual stutter.

He was speaking before he could even think about it. “there was an obstacle course today, for training. i can get through them faster than papyrus, i'm older and the scientist has given me more training. and the scientist told papyrus to finish before me, but he couldn't, and i didn't know but i couldn't have let him finish first anyway because, because...” Sans paused and took a breath, not looking at Alphys. “because there's always something at the end that the first one through has to... to kill. and this time it was monsters and i'm so sorry, i didn't want to but i had to, i had to, i shouldn't have, i'm not even a monster, i...” He sniffed loudly, tightening his grip on Papyrus. “and now the scientist is going to hurt papyrus because, because... i couldn't protect him!”

Sans felt something wet on his face. Was he... was he crying? He hadn't cried in... he didn't even know. He wiped at his eyes and huffed.

Papyrus lifted his hands and patted Sans' cheeks. “No!” he cried.

Sans smiled a little. “i-if you say so, bro.”

He glanced up at Alphys, afraid to see her reaction. She was frowning deeply. Sans looked down again quickly. No, this wasn't good, he'd said something he shouldn't have, he scared her away, she wasn't happy with him and she would tell the scientist and...

“Sans,” she said, cutting through his panic. “What... who died?” Her voice was calm and blank, and Sans couldn't quite hold back his flinch.

“i don't know. there were three of them, and they were green and they hopped in and were talking to each other in a language i didn't understand, and i had to kill them, i'm sorry, i'm so sorry, please...” He trailed off, closing his eyes. There was nothing he could say, really. He'd killed them.

“It's not your fault,” Alphys said quietly. Sans' head shot up, and he looked at her almost incredulously. Not his fault? He _killed_ them. How is that not his fault?

Papyrus patted his face again, and he looked down at his little brother. Papyrus' face was uncharacteristically serious. "Sans," he said. "You kill?"

Sans made an affirmative sound that may as well have been a sob. He'd never wanted Papyrus to know. He'd never wanted his brother to see him as he was, to think less of him...

Papyrus looked like he was thinking. "Wanted to?"

Sans shook his head. That didn't matter, though. He'd killed them anyway.

Papyrus nodded solemnly. "I forgive you."

Sans blinked. What... How could Papyrus possibly forgive him for this? He couldn't even forgive himself. Still, he smiled shakily. "thanks, pap."

"Sans?" Alphys piped up. "Wh-what did you mean when you said y-you weren't a monster?"

What? "i meant that pap and i, we aren't monsters."

Alphys' face twisted. "B-but what would you be if you aren't monsters?"

Sans looked at her blankly. "creations."

It was Alphys' turn to look at Sans blankly. "I... I don't know what you mean."

"we're creations. the scientist made us." Sans pulled his left arm away from Papyrus' back and twisted it so she could see the bar code carved into his radius. "we have bar codes. monsters don't have those."

Alphys' face was completely blank. Sans began to worry again. He had volunteered information, he had talked out of turn, she was disgusted with him, she was angry at them, she would leave and never come back...

Papyrus had pulled away a little and was staring at his own bar code. Everything was going wrong. Sans hadn't wanted any of this to happen. He had wanted to comfort his brother, not bring up half the reasons why they had to be scared. He was a terrible brother. He couldn't protect Papyrus, only make him feel worse.

Alphys cleared her throat. "I... well, I don't know many people. I s-spend most of my time upstairs with m-my mom, or at h-home with my dad. And I was v-very l-l-lonely." She paused and looked at Sans and Papyrus. "B-but one day I was looking around, a-and one of th-the doors that was always locked w-was cracked open. A-and I knew I sh-shouldn't have gone through, b-but I did, and I. I met you guys." She smiled softly. "A-and it was great, b-because then I had _friends_."

Sans stared at her. Friends? What...

"I'm... so happy to have friends. To be friends with both of you." Her smile widened. "I... I don't believe you're a bad person, Sans. Y-you _can't_ be. You... even if some scientist c-created you... You're a person. Both of you. You're as much monsters as I am."

Alphys' face was flushed, but her smile was wide and fierce. Sans blinked at her, eyes wet and vision blurring.

She took a deep breath. "I... I wish I could help you," she said quietly.

"with what?" Sans asked, too surprised to worry about speaking out of turn.

Alphys looked at him strangely. "I wish I could keep you from getting hurt. Or get you guys out of here."

Sans stared at her, barely comprehending her words. His arms went slack, but Papyrus didn't seen to mind, looking between the two with confusion.

"I met s-someone else recently, you know. And he was the only... the only one that believed me when I told him y-you were real." Alphys sighed and looked up at the ceiling. "One – th-that's what he told me to call him, One – s-said that I was helping. B-by being here, b-being your friend. I... hope that's true."

Alphys pulled out her phone and looked at it. "I n-need to go. B-but I brought something for you." She pulled a sheet of paper out of her bag, and part of Sans' mind commented, a bit hysterically, that she'd finally remembered to bring him the paper she'd promised.

"I... I drew you something. I h-hope you like it." Alphys slid the paper through the food slot, then closed it. She walked to the window and waved before leaving.

Sans waved back automatically.

It took Sans a while to snap back to the present, and by the time he did, Papyrus had already climbed out of his lap and retrieved the paper. He waved it in front of Sans' face. "Look!" Sans steadied Papyrus' arms and looked at the paper.

The paper had two drawings on it. One was of Sans and Papyrus standing next to each other on two legs and waving. They weren't wearing their gowns – rather, Alphys had drawn Sans in blue clothing, the same color that his eyes glowed, and Papyrus in orange. The other drawing was the two of them on four legs and sitting next to each other. They were dressed in the same clothing as in the first drawing.

Sans ran his finger over the drawings carefully, barely daring to believe they were real. The paper felt waxy where Alphys had drawn on it, and the blank spaces were just slightly rough. She'd labeled it with their names – "Sans" and "Papirus" – and Sans touched his name gently.

A few moments later, Papyrus stifled a yawn. “i think it's time to get back to sleep, bro,” Sans said. His voice was rough, either from his fatigue or from crying earlier.

Papyrus nodded, and pushed at Sans. Sans obligingly got off the blankets, and watched his brother carefully tuck the drawing under the scarf next to the chip bag, then pull the covers back over top of everything equally carefully. He shifted, then grabbed the edge of Sans' gown in his mouth and tugged him back over to the blankets.

Sans shifted down to curl around Papyrus. While Alphys' visit had been confusing and difficult, it seemed that it had been what they needed to be able to fall asleep in just a few moments.

The lights were already on when Sans woke up. He got up and stretched, already beginning to dread what the day would bring. It wasn't going to be good. Papyrus was still asleep, and, as much as Sans didn't want to rouse him from his peaceful rest, it would be a good idea to keep the scientist as content as possible. Maybe then he'd be less rough with Papyrus' punishment.

Papyrus hit Sans' nose with his paw when Sans nudged him, but didn't wake up. Sans nudged him again, then a few more times until Papyrus opened his eyes sleepily. He looked up at Sans and huffed, then shifted. Sans followed suit.

They sat together on their blankets. It was odd that the scientist hadn't come by yet. It was very rare that he would come down to the lab and turn on the light but not come for one or both of them. It had never happened before when they _knew_ one of them was going to be punished.

Sans looked out the window blankly as Papyrus gripped his hand tightly. He felt like there was something he was missing. Something that should be happening, something he should have prepared for.

The air out in the hall started to shimmer, then several waves of magic rippled past the window. Sans' eyes widened. Oh, no.

That was why the scientist had said something about dirt yesterday. Sans looked down at Papyrus, who appeared to have come to the same conclusion. The scientist was cleaning. He was cleaning, and they had gifts from Alphys in their room, and there was no possible way to hide them. The scientist would find them, and then...

The door swung open. Sans jumped to his feet, pulling Papyrus up with him. The scientist had a faint frown on his face, and Sans could feel his soul fluttering in his chest. No, this wasn't...

The scientist ushered them into a room across the hall. It was small and empty and Sans felt the walls closing in on him when the scientist shut the door. He pushed Papyrus into the corner and stood in front of him, waiting for the worst.

It didn't take very long. The door swung open to reveal the scientist, clutching the scarf in one hand and the drawing and chip bag in the other. His eyes were narrowed and his teeth were gritted and his face was flushed and he was breathing heavily. It was the most emotion Sans had ever seen on his face and it was utterly terrifying.

“What,” he spat out, “are these?” He waved the scarf at Sans, and Sans shrank back further into the corner, keeping Papyrus out of sight.

The scientist's eyes were wild. “How did you get these?” He threw the scarf at Sans, and then the bag. “My magic signature sealed that door, that slot! No one else could get in!” He paused at the drawing and looked at it, growling.

He took a few steps forward and shoved it into Sans' face. “Who drew this? Who saw you?” Sans turned his face away, bracing himself for more yelling.

“Answer me, dammit!” The scientist grabbed Sans' shoulder with his free hand and shook him. His eyes were wild and his face was as far from composed as it could possibly be. “I know you can speak, I made you to be able to, I've heard you talking to the other pathetic skeleton, so fucking answer me!”

Sans' teeth rattled together as he was shook. He looked at the scientist, wide eyed and terrified. The scientist had never used those words aimed at him, and he had never, ever hurt them outside of the lab. Sans opened his mouth to try to answer, to say anything, but his voice refused to form.

“Useless,” the scientist growled. He dropped the drawing, which had become crumpled in his hand, and gripped Sans' collarbones with both hands, lifting him up into the air. Sans gripped the scientist's hands, trying to struggle or pull him off or anything, but the scientist's grip was far too strong.

The scientist held him up at his eye level, and Sans, with nowhere else to look, met his eyes. They were dark and furious and if Sans hadn't already been scared out of his mind he might have screamed. Panicking, Sans began to struggle more, kicking out his dangling, useless legs. The scientist just watched, face blank and furious.

“Absolutely useless,” he said, adjusting his grip on Sans. Sans barely had moment to prepare himself before he felt air rushing by, his legs flopping, and then his face exploded.

Vaguely, Sans felt gravity take hold of him, but the sensation paled in comparison to sharp stabbing aching agony that had replaced his face. There was some sort of noise everywhere, but it didn't even matter because all that existed was burning, fiery stabbing aching that spiraled with him into the dark.

Some time later, the darkness dissipated. Sans groaned. His throat hurt and half of his field of view was white and the other half just... didn't exist. He tried to blink, but his right eye wouldn't move, stuck open and not sending any signals to his mind. And, oh, it hurt. His bones had been broken before but he had never felt like this before, like half of his face had crumbled and it was burning numb aching...

He accepted the pain, let it wash through him, and it was agony, but after a while it faded to a more manageable level and Sans was able to get the rest of his body online. He slowly pushed himself up. His head spun and throbbed, but he eventually managed to get himself into something of a sitting position, slumped against one wall.

Sans glanced around the room. It was small, smaller than it should be, and it took him a moment to remember he was not in their room but rather the one across the hall. Right, the scientist was going to clean, so he had brought Sans and Papyrus to this room and –

Papyrus. Sans' eye widened. What had happened to Papyrus? He wasn't there in the room with Sans, so the scientist must have taken him. Oh... What was he doing? Was Papyrus okay? Would he ever see him again?

Sans buried his face in his hands, uncaring of the fresh wave of pain it caused. He deserved it. This was all his fault. He should have never accepted what Alphys had given them, he should have never interacted with her in the first place. He had lost his brother and it was all his fault.

The door creaked, and Sans' head shot up. His vision spun, but it cleared in time for him to see the slot in the door slide open and Alphys' eye appear.

“S-sans?” she asked quietly, voice trembling more than usual.

The clutter and fear and guilt in his mind just fell away. Sans felt like he was floating, light and empty, and it didn't matter how she knew where he was or how she could open the slot. The only thing that mattered was that Papyrus was being hurt and it was a l l h e r f a u l t .

“L o o k a t w h a t y o u ' v e d o n e .” Sans' voice came out as a raspy and painful whisper. “T h i s i s y o u r f a u l t .”

Alphys' eye moved away from the slot, as though she had flinched. “S-sans? What...”

“H e f o u n d t h e s c a r f . H e t o o k P a p y r u s .” Sans chuckled humorlessly, because his fear of laughter was so far removed from the situation that it seemed the only appropriate response. “N o n e o f t h i s w o u l d h a v e h a p p e n e d i f y o u h a d n e v e r c o m e .”

“S-sans, I –”

“N o n e o f t h i s w o u l d h a v e h a p p e n e d i f y o u h a d j u s t l e f t u s a l o n e .”

Alphys sniffed loudly and backed away. The slot slammed shut.

Sans stared blankly at the door for a few moments. Slowly, the weight returned to his bones, the simmering anger and the fear and the guilt. And the sickening realization that he'd just driven off the only person who possibly cared about him other than his brother. Alphys hadn't caused any of this. It was all because of him. All of it was his fault. He dropped his head back into his hands. What had he done?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Specific trigger warnings for:  
> -Onscreen death of three froggits by a major character  
> -Mentions of past animal death by a major character  
> -Threats  
> -Minor flashbacks to/implied past torture (specifically sleep deprivation)  
> -Dehumanization/objectification of major characters  
> -Traumatic head injury  
> -Self-blame and lashing out
> 
> Wow, this chapter was a journey. Please let me know what you think!


	6. to think is to be alive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, boy. I'm sorry for the delay guys! For some reason, this chapter just didn't want to be written. Hopefully it's decent, I'm sick of staring at this word doc.
> 
> Beta'd by [therandomtiger](http://therandomtiger.tumblr.com/). Ze were a big help at getting me unstuck.
> 
> To all of you who celebrate Christmas, Merry Christmas! To those who don't, I hope you have/had a very nice holiday season and enjoy(ed) whatever holiday you do celebrate. I'm likely not going to update this weekend. I'll be with my family, so I won't have a whole lot of time to write.

Time passed. Sans couldn't tell if it was passing quickly or slowly. He had almost no way to judge it. The lights turned on and off, but he couldn't keep track of how often it happened. Food came, sometimes, but hunger had become a constant presence and most of the time he couldn't remember how long it had been since he had last eaten. At some point, the things from Alphys that the scientist had left behind vanished, but he couldn't have said when or how that happened. The throbbing in his face came and went, inconsistently, and the vision in his right eye flickered in and out but never came back fully.

The door never opened, the scientist never came, and Papyrus never came back.

Papyrus. How long had it been...? Sans turned onto his side and curled up, whining a little. Papyrus was gone, Papyrus was suffering, it was all Sans' fault. It was all Sans' fault and there was nothing he could do to fix it.

Sans pawed at his face, catching the jagged cracks around his eye with his claws. He whined again, involuntarily, but he deserved the pain. He deserved every bit of pain that he felt.

He should have let Papyrus finish the course first. He should have let Papyrus finish a course first ages ago, so his first kill wouldn't have needed to be a monster. He should have stopped coddling Papyrus and prepared him for this.

He should have prevented the scientist from getting to Papyrus in the first place. He should have done everything the scientist asked the first time with no complaints so that he would have never needed to even look at Papyrus. He should have made sure Papyrus would have never been hurt.

He should have never accepted what Alphys gave him. He should have never interacted with her, he should have never talked to her or answered her questions, he should have ignored her the first time she came by. 

Sans turned over and stared at the wall. Everything was his fault. He couldn't do anything right. He was useless. He was a failure.

Papyrus deserved better. It was probably for the best that the scientist had separated them. This way, Sans couldn't taint Papyrus and destroy his potential.

The lights turned on. He wondered what the scientist was doing. He wondered why the scientist had bothered to keep him alive. He was just a waste of space, a waste of time, a waste of effort who screwed everything up. It was a wonder he had made it this long.

Sans rolled over. The empty floor and walls stared back at him, accusing him of not being able to save the only good things in his life. _Useless_. He nodded in agreement.

He couldn't even keep himself from whimpering every time he moved. _Pathetic_. It was true. And it had rubbed off on Papyrus, the scientist said so. He should have never been allowed to interact with Papyrus. All he had ever done was hurt him.

Something rattled behind him, followed by a thump as something hit the floor. Sans rotated himself around to face the door, claws clicking loudly against the tiles as he tried to slide himself around. It took too long, but it wasn't like he didn't have time. He had all the time in the world to lay there and think about every mistake he had ever made.

He stared at the gray food brick. It stared back. They had a staring contest for a while, but eventually Sans blinked. _Useless_.

He pulled himself closer to the brick, still on his side. He didn't want to eat. He felt hollow, empty, and the physical ache somewhere in his middle was exactly what he deserved.

He barely registered eating. The food brick was there, and then it wasn't. His mouth felt sticky and grainy and tasted like plastic and wax.

He stared at where the food had been. There was no way to tell it had been there in the first place, and Sans wondered if he had only thought he had been given food. The texture and taste in his mouth was fading, and it felt almost like the echo of a memory that he had drawn up to fool himself. 

He had been fooling himself for so long.

He lay where he was. Moving was too much effort. It was like the blue magic had sunk into his bones and was keeping him pinned to the cold tile. Everything was so pointless. Nothing he could do would matter anyway. He'd already destroyed everything in his life that was worth anything.

_Useless. Pathetic. Failure._

Something clanked outside the room. Sans focused his vision on the door, half clear and half blurry and wavy and indistinct, all melting together.

The door opened. Sans jumped in surprise and scooted back, whining. What did the scientist want? Was he here to finally get rid of his broken failed experiment? Sans hoped so.

Someone small moved awkwardly into the room. That wasn't the scientist. That was...

Sans sat up. That was Papyrus.

Papyrus looked at him with wide eyes. “... Sans,” he said breathlessly, as though he couldn't believe his eyes. Honestly, Sans didn't know if he could believe his own.

Stumbling forward, Papyrus threw himself at Sans, hugging him tightly. Sans didn't even decide to shift, he just did, and the fire in his face was worth being able to hold Papyrus in his arms.

“papyrus,” he whispered. Papyrus nodded into his neck and tightened his grip.

“Was so worried,” Papyrus said, voice thick. “Broken face. So still. Thought you were... thought you...” He shook his head, and Sans could feel the shoulder of his gown getting soaked. He didn't even care. “Dead. Thought you died.”

“pap..." Sans tightened his arms, unwilling to tell him how much he had wanted that. "i'm so sorry. i ruined everything for us.” Sans was shaking, and Papyrus was shaking too. “it's all my fault. please... i'm so, so sorry.”

“No.” Papyrus gripped the back of Sans' gown tightly. “Didn't ruin everything. Not you.”

Sans smiled weakly. “thanks, bro, but–”

“No,” Papyrus insisted. He moved his head, accidentally headbutting Sans' chin and sending a ripple of pain through his face. “I'm sorry. Needed to be punished. Stayed too long. Not, not...”

Sans stroked Papyrus' back. “it's not your fault. none of this is your fault.” It was all his fault.

“Not your fault either.”

Papyrus always did seem to know what Sans was thinking. Sans smiled a little. “if you say so,” he said, not believing a word of it. It was definitely his fault. He wished Papyrus could see that. He wished Papyrus could see that all his brother was able to do was hurt him.

They sat like that for a while, long after the lights went out, until Papyrus made a soft, pained sound. Sans frowned. “you okay, bro?”

Papyrus pulled away a little and pulled his right arm from behind Sans' back. His ulna had a series of long, jagged cracks running through it, as though it had been shattered and then fused together just enough that the bone wouldn't fall to pieces. Sans' eye widened.

“pap,” he mumbled, putting his hand on the least damaged part of the bone and pushing some of his least-used magic through it. The healing magic didn't want to come, busy trying to mend the shattered bone around his right eye, but he ripped it away, sending in down into Papyrus' arm instead. Papyrus deserved it more anyway.

Papyrus tried to pull away. Sans held just a little tighter, pushing most of his healing magic into the bone until he could feel the pain melt away. There was something else, though... Sans frowned as he felt pain fade from Papyrus' left foot. He looked down at it.

The foot was... it was missing the last two bones on the middle toe. Sans sucked in a breath. “pap?”

Papyrus looked away. “Wanted to see how long it would last,” he mumbled. No, this wasn't... it should have happened to Sans, not Papyrus.

“'m sorry, bro,” he said.

Papyrus looked back up at him with wide eyes. “Not your fault,” he said again. Sans smiled a little. It was just like Papyrus to believe the best in him, wasn't it.

After a few moments, Papyrus got a gleam in his eye. He raised his left hand and carefully touched the side of Sans' face.

Sans jerked away, the sensation of Papyrus' fingers on the jagged cracks in the side of his face both too painful and too pleasant for him to deserve. Papyrus glared, just a little, and put his hand back on Sans' face. Warmth seeped from the hand into his face, starving out the fiery pain and replacing it with a soft warm fuzziness. Sans' body relaxed for the first time since he had hit the wall.

Eventually, Papyrus pulled his hand away. His face was slightly strained, but he looked pleased. Sans didn't have the heart to argue that Papyrus shouldn't have tried to heal him, not when he looked so happy with himself. Sans ran his fingers along the side of his face gently. It was definitely smoother, with many of the cracks that had buckled and shifted laying in line with the curve of his skull. He was surprised Papyrus had the energy to heal him so much.

“we should get some sleep,” he said. Papyrus nodded agreeably. Sans scooted back until he was up against a wall and laid down, Papyrus still a warm weight in his arms. He drifted off quickly, curled around the most precious thing in the world.

When Sans woke up, it was dark. For a moment, he wondered if he'd made up Papyrus coming back, but no, he was there, safe, wrapped up in Sans' arms. He breathed a sigh of relief.

What had woken him? The lights weren't on yet, and although he felt well rested for the first time in a while, he could feel the edges of sleep pulling at him, wanting to reclaim him, so it couldn't have been because he had slept more than enough. He snuggled back into Papyrus, letting his eye fall closed.

The slot in the door rattled. Sans sat up and stared. What...?

The slot opened and he saw an eye that he never thought he'd see again. “H-hi, Sans,” Alphys said quietly. “I... I h-hope you don't mind me v-visiting again.”

Sans blinked. “alphys,” he murmured, not quite believing his sight.

Papyrus stirred, and blinked his eyes open. He looked around for a moment, then noticed the open door slot. “Alphys!” he cried, sitting up in Sans' arms.

“H-hey, Papyrus.” Alphys sounded fond, and Sans smiled a little.

“alphys...” Sans swallowed hard, afraid. He knew what he had to say, but saying it was the hard part. “i'm sorry, it wasn't your fault, it was never your fault. it was my fault and i'm sorry i took it out on you.” He closed his eye. “please, just... don't leave?”

Alphys sighed, and Sans braced himself for the worst. “I'm sorry.” No, she was going to... “I'm sorry I caused you pain, and I’m s-sorry I didn't come back.” ...What? “Sans, at least p-part of this was my fault. You don't have to try to take the blame. I'm n-not going to leave you.”

Sans opened his eye again and looked over at the door, confused. He couldn't see Alphys through the slot, but a soft rustling told him she was sitting down. Papyrus was looking at the door with a mix of confusion and happiness. Sans scooted them a bit closer so that they were sitting against the wall next to the door. He didn't know why she was trying to take the blame, but he could tell that she wasn't done speaking.

“One came by to, ah, talk to me last night. He was wondering what was h-happening, and I told him...” She trailed off and took a deep breath. “He said he wasn't mad. And then... He told me h-he's done a lot of things that he isn't proud of. A lot of things that h-he can't forgive himself for, and never will. He t-told me there was no way to fix them, but... he could help make s-some things better, and that helped.” 

Alphys sighed, and Sans heard her move a little. “I don't think I'll _ever_ be able to forgive myself for getting you in trouble. For getting you hurt. But... I think I can help make some things better. I want t-to help you. I... I'm going to get you out of here. I'm going to help you get so far away from here you will never have to think about the scientist again. I'm sorry, b-but it doesn't matter if you forgive me. I'm going to make things better. I promise."

Sans stared at the door for several moments, trying to comprehend what she had said. “you don't have anything to be sorry about,” he said finally.

Alphys snorted. “It's nice of you to say that.”

Papyrus looked up at Sans. His expression of confusion mirrored Sans' own, and he seemed to be mouthing some of what Alphys had said to himself, as though that would help him understand.

After a short pause, Alphys spoke up again. “I'll be more careful n-now. I even asked One for help!” Her voice had brightened considerably. “He found me some shoes to wear th-that don't make any sound on tile floors, so my claws don't click against the ground. And, and, I brought extra batteries for my flashlight, and...” She trailed off, and when she started talking her voice was a lot meeker. “I-I brought some food for you two. N-nothing that your scientist can find.”

Sans blinked. Was she really going to so much trouble for them?

Papyrus didn't seem to be so confused any more. “Cookies?” he asked immediately.

Alphys giggled, and Sans managed not to flinch. “Not today. I m-made a sandwich, I hope you like it.”

There was some rustling as Alphys pulled it out of her bag and stood up. Two triangular things poked through the slot, and Sans reached up to help pull them in so they wouldn't fall. He offered one to Papyrus, who took it eagerly.

A sandwich was apparently some sort of layered food. The outside layers were soft, almost like foam but not really. There were some different red and green things between, and something sort of brown-pink.

Sans took a bite. It seemed that everything that Alphys brought for them was both wonderful and unlike anything else he had ever tasted, and this was no exception. Papyrus' eyes were wide, and Sans felt the smile that had settled on his face widen. The ache of hunger at the bottom of his core subsided a little. Still, Sans offered Papyrus most of his sandwich, and after a moment of hesitation, Papyrus accepted.

“One, um, he let me know what room you were probably in,” Alphys said finally. “I'm not sure h-how he knew, but he was right. And he drew me a map. I-it's pretty accurate.”

Sans stared at the slot for a moment. He wasn't sure he trusted this 'One' person. How did he know all of this? Did he know the scientist? Something else surfaced in his mind, and Sans almost said something before realizing he'd already spoken out of turn once so far, and he shouldn't push his luck. Still, he wasn't quite able to stop a somewhat strangled sound from coming out. Papyrus looked up from the sandwich.

“Sans?” Alphys asked. “D-did you want to say something?”

Sans huffed. “yeah,” he said shakily. “how did you open the food slots?”

“Wh-what do you mean?” Alphys sounded confused, and Sans got the feeling he wasn't going to get a proper answer.

Still. “the scientist said the doors and food slots only opened to his magic signature. how did you get it open?”

There was a pause. “I-it just opened,” Alphys said, sounding a bit shaken. “I – I don't –”

Sans stared at the door for a moment, unsure of what to think. Alphys was telling the truth, she must be, but...

“Maybe because she's a monster,” Papyrus chimed in. “I've tried before, didn't work.”

Sans looked at Papyrus, surprised. “when?”

Papyrus made a quiet noise. “Two code-changes?”

“Th-that can't be it,” Alphys said quickly. “E-even if I believed you aren't monsters, which you are, I would h-have to have nearly identical magic for it to think I was him.”

Sans thought for a moment. “do you have blue magic? gravity?”

“No. I have, ah, electricity. Yellow.”

That... made sense. But it didn't explain why she could open the food slot. Sans was about to say something, but an odd beeping interrupted his thoughts.

“Oh, I need to go,” Alphys said. Sans could hear her claws clicking against her phone. “I'll be back soon.” Sans nodded, even though he knew she couldn't see him.

Papyrus said, “See you!” Alphys giggled a bit again, and closed the slot.

Sans sighed. Alphys had come back, and would continue to come back. That was good. That was so much more than he deserved, but good nevertheless.

Papyrus shifted and curled up on his lap. Sans smiled and patted him gently, then shifted himself and curled back around his brother. Fatigue pulled at his bones, and he let himself drift into sleep.

When he woke next, the light was still off, but he could tell that this time he had woken because his body had decided it had gotten enough sleep. Papyrus was stirring, too, and Sans watched him fondly. This was his favorite sort of time -- when the scientist didn't come and he could spend time alone with his brother.

Papyrus blinked his eyes open and looked up at Sans. “hey, bro,” Sans growled quietly.

“Hey!” Papyrus yipped happily, his tail wagging. The tears from earlier seemed forgotten, a least for the moment. Papyrus nuzzled Sans' face and let out a contented sigh. “Missed you.”

Sans swallowed a sudden lump in his throat. “i missed you too.”

Papyrus looked at Sans with bright eyes. After a moment, however, his face dimmed. “Scientist was talking a lot. Listened for you,” he said. Sans blinked, surprised. Even though he thought Sans was dead, he had tried to remember what the scientist had said, so he could tell his brother on the off chance he was alive. Sans felt pride and grief swell in his chest. He really didn't deserve Papyrus.

“Muttered a lot about doors. Updating magic sensors. Changing codes more frequently.” Papyrus had his face scrunched up in concentration. “Wondered who could be coming down. Never said One, but... Said Alphys.” Sans felt something in his chest stop. “Said it couldn't be Alphys. Too timid.” Papyrus looked up at Sans. “What's timid?”

Sans smiled. “i don't know, pap.”

Papyrus huffed and scratched at one of the ridges on his head with his back paw. Sans watched, feeling hollow at the sight of the missing bones.

Sans was about to apologize again when the lights turned on. Sans looked up, then shifted, and Papyrus followed suit.

It wasn't long before the door opened. The scientist had regained his usual blank expression, and was looking between Sans and Papyrus almost disinterestedly.

"Sans," he said after a moment, and Sans almost breathed a sigh of relief. He wasn't taking Papyrus. Papyrus made a soft distressed noise when Sans stood, but let him stand up unhindered. He patted Papyrus' head a bit to try to reassure him, smiling shakily.

Sans followed the scientist out of the room and down the hall. At the door to the lab, he watched as the scientist inputted a different code. Code-change already? How long had he been alone? How long had Papyrus been alone with the scientist? Sans felt something inside him twist, remembering the state of Papyrus's arm and how long he would have had to be there with the scientist, alone with no one to protect him. He almost whimpered.

Wait, but Papyrus had said something about more frequent code-changes. Maybe that was it. That had to be it, he couldn't have left Papyrus alone for an entire code-change. Taking a deep breath, Sans made sure to focus on the numbers. He missed the first part, but the last bit was 253 464 4730. It would hopefully distract Papyrus for a bit, and he had a feeling that Alphys would want to know.

The door to the lab swung open and Sans entered after the scientist. He shed his gown and hopped up onto the table. The scientist was preparing his injection, a few papers scattered around on his work station.

Sans could only make out some fragments of what they said, having only one good eye and being unable to block out the blurry mess of signals from the other. He could make out _02-P shows signs of shock, but the remov_... on one of them, and his soul sank a bit more, because that was Papyrus. He wanted to run back to the room and engulf Papyrus in another hug. Unable to do that, he kept trying to make out the writing through his swimming vision.

 _Isolation seems effective for 01-S as it d_... said one page, and, a bit further down, he managed to make out ... _ifted out of its animalistic form. 01-S seems abs_.... Those reports were about him. He could feel his bar code burning his arm; he wondered just how bad he had looked while alone.

Another fragment read ... _ble to filter out the contaminants. 03-H seems t_..., which was odd. Sans didn't know what experiment 03-H was. He wondered if he'd be getting another brother soon. The thought made him frown.

The scientist tapped the syringe against the edge of the work station, and then moved over to where Sans was sitting. Sans held out his arm and watched as the blue-green liquid was pushed from the barrel. It burned, as it always did, but he managed to keep his eye open enough to watch as the scientist scanned his bar code. Not that it really mattered, but he liked the thought of resisting the pain.

Well that was new. Resisting the pain? Resisting at all? He couldn't resist. Papyrus... But his soul was warming, flaring, something he had never felt before. This, all of this... Even if it was Sans' fault, the scientist had done it. The thought sprang into Sans' brain, and even as he pushed on it, trying to make it go away, it stayed there, steady. The scientist had done it.

The scientist had put the syringe back and was now studying Sans' face intently. “Do you still have vision in your right eye?”

“yes,” Sans said immediately. It looked like this might just be a check up. That would be nice.

“Quality?” the scientist asked, frowning thoughtfully.

“the vision in that eye is blurry and indistinct. it comes and goes, but it has stayed since i woke up.” Sans tried to be as precise as he could be.

The scientist looked at his phone and tapped the screen a few times. “Pain?”

“three,” Sans said. He'd never been much higher than a six, really. The moment after he'd hit the wall came pretty close to a nine. But the worst pain he could imagine... that was a pretty large scale.

A quick motion from the scientist and Sans laid down flat on the table. The scientist probed at the cracks around his eye, and unbidden, the thought came back into his mind. the scientist did this.

Warmth sank into his face, and he could feel the cracks begin to knit together. The warmth continued to sink in, filling up his eye socket, and Sans had to fight against the sudden urge to close his eyes. Instead, he focused on keeping his breathing steady. In and out. In and out. The scientist rarely had nice reasons for healing them.

After a while, the scientist removed his hands from Sans' face. “No way to restore vision,” he said, messing with something on his phone again. “Pity.”

The rest of the examination passed as normal, with the scientist inspecting every one of his bones and casting the occasional spell for measuring Sans' magic. All the while, Sans' brain thrummed. He wasn't sure if he liked the thoughts that had made their home there, but it seemed as though they weren't going to leave.

_he hurt Papyrus _, he thought, and was unprepared for the flash of anger that hit him.__

_it was my fault_ , he tried to argue, because this was dangerous. The scientist was dangerous. 

_but **he** did it._

Sans couldn't think of a comeback for that one.

When Sans returned to the room, Papyrus looked up at him with a worried look and asked what was wrong. Sans sighed and almost wished that he had a less perceptive little brother.

“a lot of things, bro,” he said, then tried to change the subject. “hey, the code changed. did that just happen today? i only caught the end.”

Papyrus gave him a look that meant he didn't appreciate the deflection, but answered the question anyway. “Was the same yesterday.”

He nodded. The thoughts were troubling, but they were just thoughts. Papyrus was here, and real. Sans would do anything to protect him. And the scientist had hurt him.

Sans scrubbed his face in frustration. This was getting harder to ignore. Papyrus tugged on the edge of Sans' gown, and he looked down.

“Your eye?” Papyrus asked, trying to distract him.

Smiling, Sans nodded. “yeah, it's better. still can't see well, but better.”

Papyrus smiled brightly. Sans put his hand on the top of his brother's skull and shook it fondly. Papyrus' face broke into a bright grin.

Sans had failed Papyrus. But maybe, just maybe, he wasn't the only one at fault here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, we're getting somewhere! I hope you enjoyed!


	7. deal with what is real

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh. Hey, guys!
> 
> I'm really sorry for how late this chapter is. The holidays were hard, and then I got sick, and then after that I got admitted to the hospital last Monday. So yeah. Life's been a bit crazy, I haven't had a lot of ability to write. I'm not sure when I'll get out of the hospital or what'll be the deal with my health from there, so don't expect frequent updates. I'll be working on this, but progress will be slow.
> 
> This chapter was partially written AND beta'd by [therandomtiger](http://therandomtiger.tumblr.com/). Without zem I would have never gotten this chapter off of the ground, let alone written and posted.
> 
> Well. Without further ado, enjoy!

Sans woke up, not to an empty room and a damaged body, but to Papyrus nuzzled carefully against his side, supporting Sans' head. His eye hurt less than it had yesterday and not more, which was new. But when he squinted the blurriness in his vision just didn't go away. It wasn't as bad as before, but then again it _had_ been healed. Maybe this was as much as his broken eye would ever see. And it was his fault.

Except... Well. Sans had maybe decided that it wasn't entirely his fault, that maybe since the scientist had been the one to do it, he was at fault too. Right? If someone did something, weren't they at fault?

There was one person who he knew wasn't at fault, despite what he'd told her. Who had told him that _he_ wasn't at fault, even in the face of everything he'd done wrong. He wondered when she'd come back. He wondered if escape was even possible, or if she was promising something that she couldn't deliver. Where could they go? Where could anyone go, that the scientist couldn't get to them?

Sans moved his head slightly in thought, and there was no cascade of pain from his healed wound. Just a dull ache.

Papyrus stirred under Sans' chin, beginning to wake at the movement. He was a lot more tired than he usually was. Of course, he'd been punished, and he was still hurt. Sans always slept a lot after punishments, trying to heal. He hoped this was the same, that the sleep would be a good thing and help Papyrus get better.

A soft yip echoed in the empty room. Sans smiled fondly and scratched his brother behind the ridges on the back of his skull. Papyrus blinked his eyes open, a contented expression on his face.

"looks like we have some time to ourselves." Sans shook Papyrus' head gently, earning another yip for his trouble. "what do you want to do?"

Papyrus' nose wrinkled in thought, and he shifted and sat on his brother's lap. He rubbed the cracks in his ulna in thought, and Sans held back a grimace. At least the cracks seemed to be healing together a bit better.

"Maybe... story?" Papyrus asked hopefully. "About fish monster."

Sans nodded. That story was easy, he'd told it hundreds of times and read it hundreds more when the scientist first taught him to read. He knew it very well.

"okay. so once there was a fish monster who had lived her entire life underground in a place called 'the ocean'," Sans begun. He was paraphrasing bit, but the written story had a lot of things that were hard to understand. Not that either of them knew what a fish monster was supposed to look like, anyway.

Papyrus listened with rapt attention, despite having heard this story many times before. "in the ocean, there was a place that monsters could look through the barrier and watch the humans. the fish monster watched them every day, and became obsessed with one of them. she thought she was in love.

"so one day, she went to go see a witch."

"A magic scientist," Papyrus chimed in.

Sans smiled. "yep. a magic scientist. one who could turn her into a human and send her through the barrier."

"But she wasn't human!" Papyrus interrupted again.

"you're getting ahead of the story, bro," Sans said, smiling at Papyrus' pout. "the witch didn't want to send her through the barrier, because humans can't be trusted. but the fish monster insisted.

"so the witch gave her a human form and sent her through the barrier, warning her that she would need to gain a human soul in three days or she would turn to dust, because there is no way for a monster to make a human soul." Sans took a breath. "the monster thought that if she could get the human to love her, she would gain a human soul. so she went looking for him. when she found him, she professed her love to him."

Papyrus was grinding his teeth, watching Sans with wide eyes. "And then?" he prompted, even though he knew the story as well as Sans did.

"the human was disgusted. he loved someone else, he said, and she should know that if she loved him." Sans smiled thinly. This was his least favorite part, really. "so the fish monster ran back to the barrier to ask the witch what she could do."

The door rattled, and Sans nearly stopped talking, but the lights weren't on. It was probably Alphys. No one else ever came when it was night.

"the witch had been afraid of this," he continued, keeping Papyrus' attention on him even as the food slot opened. "the only way for the monster to get a human soul and survive now was for her to kill a human."

"But she refused," Papyrus broke in.

Sans nodded. "she refused, and spent her three days watching the human as she had from the other side of the barrier. and after that time was up, she crumbled to dust and blew away on the wind."

Papyrus looked at the floor, saddened as he always was at the end of the story. When they were younger he used to ask Sans why she didn't just become a monster again. Sans never had an answer for that. It had been a while since he'd had the book to read it, and even so he didn't remember the book ever answering that question. So he'd told Papyrus that she couldn't. After receiving that answer more times than he could count, Papyrus finally stopped asking. But Sans could tell it was still on his mind.

"I've, uh, I've never heard that story end like that before," Alphys said from the door.

Papyrus' head shot up. "Alphys!" he cried, turning and waving at the small sliver of her face that they could see. His brow furrowed after a moment. "How end?"

"W-well," Alphys stammered. "The m-monster met the human and fell in love. She had three days to get him to fall in love with her, and he began to like her immediately.

"The witch didn't like that, and crossed the barrier to keep them apart. She made the human fall in love with her instead of the fish monster, but then the fish monster confronted the human and broke the spell and it was really awesome because when they kissed her soul formed in all sorts of beautiful colors and they got married and had kids and lived happily ever after and... and... uh..." Alphys' face sunk from view. "S-sorry, I, uh, got carried away. Sorry."

Sans was staring at the slot, impressed by how much Alphys had said in one breath. Papyrus was also staring, stars in his eyes. "Cool," he said breathlessly, his usual reaction to new stories.

Alphys' eye reappeared. "Really?" she squeaked.

Papyrus nodded seriously. Sans smiled at his brother and nodded too; Papyrus was always serious about his stories.

It was strange to think of a version of the story that wasn't about killing humans. What was the point of it then? Humans were bad, weren't they? So why would the fish monster falling in love be a good thing? It was confusing and different.

But. It made Papyrus happy to have a new story, one where nobody died. If the scientist never heard them telling it to each other, it couldn't hurt. Right?

It's not like it changed what humans were, anyway. Just unforgiving beings with powerful souls and numbers on their side. That's what the scientist had said. Humanity would always be jealous of monsters' power, and that's why they had forced monsters underground and put up the barrier. That's why they had to be destroyed.

Sans shook his head, trying to get rid of that line of thought, and focused on his brother. Papyrus was listening with rapt attention as Alphys tried to explain why the witch didn't want the fish monster and the human to fall in love, and why the fish monster couldn't just turn back into a monster and go back underground. She was doing a better job of explaining than Sans had.

After a while, however, Alphys started floundering. "I, uh, I don't, um... Don't you want to know what I brought you?"

Papyrus jumped up, barely noticing the abrupt subject change. Something appeared through the slot, and this time it was Papyrus who helped pull it through. It was a small clear bag full of white crescent-shaped wedges with red skin on the small curved side.

"They're apple slices," Alphys said. "You can g-give back the bag when you're done so your scientist won't find it."

Sans watched as Papyrus dug into the bag, and took the slice Papyrus offered him. It was slightly sticky, but not enough to stick to his fingers entirely. He bit into it, and it crunched, kind of like the chips but at the same time not like them at all. Was all food supposed to be like this? Different every time and good, good enough that he always wanted more? Actually wanted to eat?

Papyrus sat down next to Sans and ate one of the slices slowly. About halfway through, he bounced up, seeming to get an idea. "Story?" he asked Alphys.

"M-me?" She sounded shocked, and Papyrus nodded. "Um. Let's see."

She was silent for a moment, long enough for Papyrus to finish his first apple slice and start on his second. He offered Sans a second, but Sans held up his own half-finished slice in refusal.

"Ok, so. Um. Do you mind if I tell you something that, uh, actually happened?" Alphys sounded nervous, a bit more than usual.

Papyrus' eyes widened. "Really?"

"Oh, uh, yeah. So, um, I spend a lot of time at home with my dad, he, uh, he home schools me," Alphys started. Sans wasn't sure what she was saying, really. What was 'home' again? And 'home school'? But Papyrus was leaning in towards the door to hear better, and it didn't really matter if he understood her anyway. As long as Papyrus enjoyed himself.

"So he's, um, he's pretty large, right? But he's really nice. And so, uh, one day, a few weeks ago, maybe, he took me over to Snowdin to get some, um, some cinnamon bunnies." Alphys still sounded pretty unsure of her words, and to be honest, Sans had absolutely no clue what she was talking about. "We t-took the ferry, and the riverperson is tall and always wears this, ah, this big black cloak. They're a bit scary sometimes, but they're really nice and they like to give advice to the passengers.

"They were singing a bit, like _tra la la_ , you know? And then, uh, out of nowhere, they just say, _Look below and watch for the ones with the white faces_."

Sans felt his bones go cold. That was... He looked at Papyrus, who was listening intently, but all he could picture was the scientist's pale face, a slight satisfied smile on his mouth. Sans shuddered.

"It's always good to take their advice, so Dad thanked them and said he would," Alphys said, not noticing Sans' reaction. "When we got off in Snowdin, we were talking about what it could mean, and so we weren't really paying attention to where we were walking. We get into town, and start towards the store, when Dad hears this loud squeak from in front of him.

"He looks down, and in front of him there were two young white rabbit monsters. He'd nearly stepped on them!" Alphys giggled. "The riverperson was warning him not to step on the kids! He apologized, of course, and got them some cinnamon bunnies too.”

She paused. "You know, that was just a few days before I met... you..." She trailed off.

Sans looked down at Papyrus. He was smiling, happy to hear a new story, even as there was as much confusion on his face as Sans felt. The story hadn't made a lot of sense, but it was something different so Papyrus liked it. He obviously hadn't made the connection between the white faces and the scientist.

"What's a river?" Papyrus asked. Alphys spluttered, and stammered out something about a lot of moving water. Papyrus scrunched up his brow and asked if the riverperson was a monster made out of a river.

Alphys snorted. "N-no, I'm pretty sure they're just a regular monster." She answered a few more of Papyrus' questions before he fell silent, his expression showing that he was even more confused than before.

Finally, he shrugged, then shifted and jumped onto Sans' lap again. Alphys made a noise, and Sans looked up to meet her eye.

"I d-don't think I'll get used to that," she said shakily.

Sans frowned. He stared for a moment, before deciding that, if she hadn't gotten angry about Papyrus' questions, she might not get mad if he asked one too. "you can't shift?" he asked.

"No. I've, uh, never met anyone else who could."

Oh. Maybe it was because they were creations. Just one more reason why they weren't monsters.

Papyrus had shoved his entire nose into the bag of apple slices to try to eat them without hands, and Sans watched him struggle with it. He couldn't get his mind on track, though. It kept circling around. They weren't monsters, they were creations, and the scientist had made them. The scientist and his white face. Would he find Alphys? Is that what that advice from the river person meant? He would do something terrible to her. No, he would make Sans do something terrible to her. One more thing to blame himself for.

"Um," Alphys said, breaking through his thoughts. "So. There's a big p-project upstairs. It's called, uh, the CORE. It has something to do with magic and energy? But pretty much everyone is working on it." Sans looked back up at her.

"So, I, uh, I was thinking. The CORE will be done in like two weeks?" Alphys said it like a question, but Sans didn't know what a week was beyond some measure of time and he had only heard of the CORE in passing from the scientist's notes and muttering, so he didn't know how to answer.

She continued before he could decide how he could respond. "So the best time to, um, break you out will be just before it's done. All the scientists will be busy, so it'll be easy to make a distraction and get you two out unnoticed."

That... didn't sound easy. It sounded impossible, honestly. But nevertheless he nodded, because there wasn't anything else he could think to do or say.

"Good," Alphys said, and Sans could hear the smile in her voice. "One will help, he told me so. We can do this."

Sans felt uneasy knowing that One was going to be involved. He still didn't know if they could trust him. He knew too much that Sans couldn't see how he had found out.

After a moment, Alphys spoke up again. “I need to go. Uh, you could pass me the bag before I leave?"

Papyrus was busy licking the inside of the bag, having eaten the rest of the apple slices. Sans peeled it off his face with a smile. Papyrus yipped in protest, but jumped off Sans' lap to let him get up anyway. He walked over to the door and passed the bag through the slot to Alphys.

"Thanks," she whispered. There was a rustling as she tucked it into her bag. Louder, she said, "Goodbye!"

Papyrus barked a goodbye in response, and Alphys giggled again and closed the slot. Sans shifted down to four legs, smiling.

A small weight tackled him from the side, and he slid along the tile a little before turning to see Papyrus, pawing at the ground with his tail wagging, jumping from side to side. "Wrestle!" he yipped.

Sans growled playfully and jumped at his brother. Papyrus dodged out of the way, clearly favoring his right front leg, and tried to trip Sans.

Instead of falling when Papyrus grabbed his leg, he braced himself so the pull had little impact on his balance and left Papyrus gnawing on the leg instead. Papyrus, for his part, pulled on the leg for a few more moments before realizing he'd been foiled. He let go and hopped away, leaping for Sans' back.

The “fight” ended in a tangled pile of bones. Sans was sprawled out on his back, and Papyrus untangled himself to stand triumphant atop Sans' sternum. Sans shifted to scratch behind his brother's head ridges in congratulations. Papyrus flopped down on his chest and smiled, leaning into Sans' hand.

They laid like that for a while. They both might have dozed off, or maybe they hadn't, but either way Sans' eyes flew open when the lights turned on. He sat up, and Papyrus tumbled down onto his lap with a yelp.

“sorry, bro,” he said, checking to make sure that the fall hadn't jarred Papyrus' leg. It hadn't. Papyrus bounced up quickly and shifted. They sat next to each other on the cold floor, and Sans felt his nerves rising the longer it took for the scientist to come. Was he cleaning again? Was he planning something? Sans stifled the urge to scoot over to sit in front of Papyrus, and made do with holding his hand.

After several more long moments, the door opened. The scientist said Sans' name without even glancing into the room. Sans hurried out of the room and followed the scientist to the lab. The scientist entered the code – 714 927 253 464 4730, Sans noticed, likely the same as before – into the door.

The scientist paused for a moment, hand on the door handle. He looked down at Sans briefly, before pushing the door open. That couldn't be good. At least Papyrus wasn't here.

Sans shed his gown and accepted his injection quickly. The beep of his bar code being scanned reminded him of the papers he'd seen yesterday. 03-H. Another sibling, more than likely. He'd known, since Papyrus had come, that the two of them weren't going to be enough for the scientist. Sans had hoped they would be enough, but it was a futile hope, just like every other hope he'd ever had. The scientist would never be satisfied.

He wondered when 03-H would be ready to leave the tank, would be introduced to Sans and Papyrus. It felt like it had been forever since Papyrus had come, but Sans could still remember vaguely what it had been like without him. It had been dark and quiet, and Sans had slept a lot, he remembered. He hadn't been lonely, because he hadn't known what lonely was. Lonely was being without Papyrus, but he hadn't known he was without Papyrus because he didn't know Papyrus existed until the scientist had shown up one day with a bundle in his arms and told Sans that it was his responsibility. Would 03-H be Papyrus' responsibility? He hoped not. He hoped that hope wasn't a futile one.

Papyrus wasn't ready to take care of someone else. Heck, Sans hadn't been ready to take care of Papyrus when the scientist handed him over. Even if Papyrus had become the only good thing in Sans' life, he didn't think his little brother would be able to take care of someone else. Sometimes, Sans was astounded that Papyrus had turned out as well as he had.

Sans hoped he'd never need to find out, that Alphys was right and they could get out. He wasn't sure what out was. More hallways, or larger rooms? Structures like the 'house' Alphys had showed them a picture of? At any rate, there would be no scientist, so it had to be better.

Because the scientist was to blame as much as Sans was.

The sharp click of shoes against tile snapped Sans back to the present. The scientist pulled out a large, empty metal box and set it down on the table across from Sans. He watched, curious and wary, as the scientist pulled out a thin book and placed it in the box before pushing it to him with a small burst of blue magic. He couldn't quite make out the title, and the cover was plain otherwise, like most of the books that the scientist had given them.

"You can have the book when you open the box," he said, closing the box with a click.

Sans' eyes wavered between the scientist and the box, before he turned to put a hand on it. The metal was just as cold as it looked. Sans ran his other hand over the seam, before he looked down at the latch that the scientist had flicked shut.

This should be easy, but the scientist... the scientist was still watching. He hadn't taken his eyes off Sans. It was like Sans was about to do something very interesting. That fact was expressive enough, even though the scientist’s mouth was a flat slash through a smooth face. Sans hadn't seen a book in... how many code changes?

There was some catch here he couldn't see, some kind of flaw in what he was about to do that would certainly end badly.

But he didn't have any choice but to step into the trap, whatever it was. To get this over with. To do what the scientist said until he was done for the day. Sans hissed through his clenched teeth as he put a finger under the latch and pressed.

He hadn't opened many latches, but this one could have been glued together for all the mobility it had. It didn’t budge an inch. There was a faint tingle in his fingers and up his arms, a little more concentrated than the monitoring spell the scientist was using. It didn’t hurt. He could feel the traces lingering on his soul even after he stopped pressing, uncomfortably intimate. Fading, now, but still present.

Had the scientist done something he hadn’t seen to the latch? Some kind of enchantment? Maybe he had to press his soul against it. Sans’ bones rattled with a shudder, but it was worth a try.

Sans didn’t glance at the scientist as he swiveled on the table, leaning over the box tentatively. He pressed his whole hand against it, forcing his soul to stay still with the rest of him. The latch probed at his soul, tracking its shape, its form, and Sans made himself remain still, hand pressed to the box. It stopped, a short time later, and he tentatively moved his hand. He put his finger under the latch again and pushed.

It didn’t open.

He felt along the edges again. Was there something else here? He couldn't tell. He couldn't try to pry it open from the seam either, since he didn’t have fingernails like the scientist. Maybe that was it.

He looked over at the scientist. The scientist stared back.

Sans' eyes fell down again, to the box. Maybe the answer was his powers. This was a puzzle. It would be okay. Probably. Even if he hadn’t been ordered specifically to do it, he could just. Just.

Ignoring the jittery twist of his soul, Sans squinted at the box. He closed his damaged eye, just in case he had missed anything due to the blurriness, and turned the box over to check the sides carefully.

He hadn't missed anything. It was just as featureless on all sides, in every way, except for some tiny scratches on the bottom and the seam. And the latch.

Sans held his breath as the faint glow of his magic tinted the white lab, his bones and the tabletop and the scientist lit by his blue power.

Nothing happened. The latch didn't lift. The scientist wasn’t angry. Sans breathed in.

Maybe it was a matter of strength. Sans' magic brightened and glimmered, a faint sheen of sweat gathering as he focused on the latch.

Nothing happened.

The scientist was leaning closer now. Sans ignored the urge to back away and put the box in his lap. He looked at it again, to see if anything had changed.

Nothing.

Nothing had changed, not even the scientist's face. He had the same blank expression on as he leaned back and noted something on his phone.

The scientist flicked a finger towards Sans' gown, and Sans put the box down gently beside him. He'd... he'd failed. The scientist didn't seem to be mad, but an uncomfortable numbness seeped into Sans' bones as he pulled on his gown.

Sans didn't recognize the room he'd been led to. It had a window, and looked identical to their room, the one Alphys had come to first, but it was in a different place. And Papyrus wasn't there.

The scientist held the door open as Sans entered as slowly as he dared. Where was Papyrus? Was he going to be brought over later? This was the first time Sans had ever seen the room, after all, and the scientist hadn't left during the experiment. Maybe they were just being moved to a new room, and the scientist would bring Papyrus in a little bit.

Yeah. That must be it. Sans ignored the nagging doubt at the back of his mind that maybe Papyrus wasn't here because he hadn't been able to open the box. Maybe this was a punishment because he'd failed.

The door clicked shut behind him with finality. Sans settled himself into the back corner of the room, where the blankets had been in the other room, so he could watch the window. He just had to wait. Papyrus would be here soon.

How was he supposed to have opened the box, anyway? It had been sealed shut, and no mater how he turned it over in his head, Sans couldn't figure out the solution. He stared out the window, watching for Papyrus and lost in thought.

He'd failed. Was he... Had he even been meant to succeed?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there was going to be more in this chapter. But I figured you'd like an update. Don't worry, the scene most of you have been waiting for is already written and waiting for the rest of the chapter to be built around it. Hopefully it won't take so long to post the next chapter, but... well, don't count on it.


	8. fill with fire (INCOMPLETE: PLEASE READ CHAPTER NOTES)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all: I am _so sorry_ for making you guys wait this long for this chapter. I've never wanted to be that writer who disappears for ages, but surprise! Real life got in the way.
> 
> I haven't really gone into detail much, but I was hospitalized for much of this past year - from January until mid-June. I was in the midst of heart failure, and a the end of May I received the heart transplant I desperately needed.
> 
>  **Which brings me to the reason that this chapter is incomplete** and will probably stay that way.
> 
> What is currently written I've had written since February, after which point lack of proper circulation made my brain too fuzzy to focus on writing. I didn't want to post any of it, as the beginning and end are complete, but I had yet to write the middle.
> 
> Unfortunately, after I got out of the hospital, I found that the medical torture aspects of this story had become highly triggering. For my own mental health, I decided to try to come back to it later. But, really, the several months I've had with a mostly clear head have not helped, and I'm still unable to write the rest of this chapter, nor the two chapters that I had planned after this one.
> 
> I have spoken to Ran, and ze are unable to finish the chapter either.
> 
> The content that I'd been intending to finish in this chapter is about halfway through. I wrote it out in a sort of sketchy way, which is how I usually write my first drafts, and it is in italics and square brackets, _[like so]_.
> 
> I'm really sorry, as I know a lot of you were really into this story, but I simply cannot continue. In the end notes, I'll address the two major loose ends that I'd been planning to explain in a future chapter.
> 
> Thank you guys for reading! All of your support has meant so much to me.

Sans didn't know how long he sat in the corner, staring out the window, before the scientist came back. The lights hadn't gone off, so it couldn't have been too long, but it was hard to tell. It was certainly longer than he would have liked. He was stuck, without Papyrus, in a room he didn't know if Alphys could find.

He wondered how long they’d be separated this time, a sinking feeling in his bones settling through him more deeply than the way he’d sunken onto his haunches, waiting for someone to arrive.

Before Papyrus, he had only sleep and the scientist’s visits, and he had never been able to decide which was better. Sleep was dreamless and empty, too empty to be boring. The scientist brought food, taught him, and wasn’t the four walls holding him eternally. That had been worth it, sometimes.

After Papyrus, it had stopped being enough. He could be hurt. Papyrus could be hurt. The dread had sunk further and further into his bones with every visit, and he didn’t look forward to them, to being separated from his brother.

The thought of going back to that time filled him with apprehension. He didn’t think he could go back to it, if he tried.

Papyrus came back before. He had to come back again. If he just... Waited.

Eventually the scientist came, with the faint click of his boots. This room wasn’t as soundproofed as their usual one. Sans sat up. Papyrus, Papyrus! He could be there, he could be okay. Sans pushed himself to his feet and stood stock-still to the side of the door. He chanced quick glances at the window all the while, waiting to see if the scientist had come with his brother.

He had. But the scientist didn’t turn towards Sans’ cell. He turned away, to the cell just opposite Sans’. Papyrus blinked at Sans, breathless. Papyrus’ legs gave an aborted twitch that revealed his desire to run for Sans’ window.

Instead, he turned away, slowly limping into the empty cell.

The scientist walked away, his hands gesturing as he talked to himself. He seemed to have already forgotten about them.

Sans waited for the scientist to walk out of sight, then waited a little longer. As soon as he was gone Sans shifted. He ran to the window and reared up, so that his front paws were on the bottom of the window and his nose was pressed up against the glass. He could just see Papyrus through the window in the other room, and he whined a little. Then he barked, loudly, not saying anything but just wanting to see if the soundproofing was faulty enough for Papyrus to hear him.

Papyrus twitched a little, and ran over to his window. He was barely tall enough for his eyes to peek out over the bottom of the window, and he probably would have been far too short in his other  form, even if he did mimic Sans' position. Papyrus raised his hand above his head and waved.

Sans shifted and waved back. At least they could see each other. That was better than it could be.

Sans pressed his skull against the window, his brow and teeth clicking against it as he stared down at his living, breathing brother. He squinted, ignoring the growing ache from putting pressure on his bad eye. Papyrus didn't seem hurt, but he couldn't see much of him from here. He'd been limping before, but that... hopefully that was just his toe.

If the scientist hadn’t hurt Sans, he wouldn’t have hurt Papyrus, right? Papyrus knew how to be quiet and not make the scientist angry. He… 

Papyrus blinked at Sans, his sockets never breaking contact. Sans blinked back. A mixture of relief and fear squirmed in his ribcage, but with every minute that Papyrus stood there, with every moment that Sans confirmed that he was okay, some of it dripped out.

Sans didn’t talk, not unprompted, but the same thoughts ran through his head again and again as he stared back at Papyrus, building in his throat. ‘are you okay?’ ‘i’m so glad you’re alive.’ ‘don’t leave.’

Not one of them reached Papyrus, but the same thoughts must have been hammering through his skull, because as time passed, neither of them tried to sit down or move away.

Sans’ legs started hurting. He had to stand for a long time, sometimes, but it was always unpleasant.

He ignored it.

Papyrus’ arms drifted from the window to his sides, but he didn’t leave.

Sans was thankful.

Things were almost okay. Not normal, but bearable.

Sans hadn’t had nearly the workout of some days, but today had been exhausting nonetheless.

Sans’ sockets started drooping.

Papyrus turned his neck, slowly, and Sans’ soul thudded in his chest.

He didn’t leave.

Sans’ breaths came more and more regularly, more and more quietly.

It was bright, but really…

After a day like this, he could probably sleep anywhere.

Sans’ eyes drifted shut.

A thought fluttered through his head, elusive as dust, then settled in his mind. _is papyrus okay?_ His eyes snapped open.

Papyrus was still there, still safe. For now. He looked more awake than Sans felt, although he wasn’t the restless bundle of energy he usually was.

Sans shifted his weight between aching legs. Maybe he could lean on just one leg. Would that hurt more or less?

Thudding echoed in the distance, from the left. Was that where their normal room was, or was it to the right? The hallway was unfamiliar, missing from Sans’ mental maps.

He glanced to the left, as far down the hallway as the window allowed. When he looked back, Papyrus looked confused, then looked down that hallway as well. 

There were doors, empty wall, but nothing to be seen in the half-dimmed light. 

Sans' eyes began to droop again. He was leaning heavily against the wall, the crown of his skull resting against the glass. His feet began sliding across the floor, away from the wall, and he scrambled to pull himself back up.

It wasn’t long before his limbs were shaking from the effort of keeping himself in place. Still, he 

The faint sound of footsteps made Sans jerk to attention. He looked around, a little wildly, and saw the scientist approaching. 

_[the scientist takes sans first. He takes sans to their original room, keys in a code, and then tells sans to open the door. Sans tries. He feels magic probe at his soul, but can't open the door. The scientist is blank faced, and then opens the door for Sans.]_

_[repeat with Papyrus]_

_[the lights eventually go out. Sans stays awake on lookout. A white shape appears in the window – One redoing the mimic. Sans is minorly confused. Manages to fall asleep.]_

_[wake up, lights are still out. After a bit Alphys visits. Time goes by. Highlights: Alphys mentioning the accents, the scientist futzing with their souls a bit more, discussing plans including One doing a distraction. Alphys shares a map One gave her, showing where the exit is. Sans is worried about Alphys, so she shares that she'll “be in the library” and there's an easy way to get there from outside. Maybe a bit more about the CORE?]_

_[the scientist brings the bros to the lab. He sets up an experiment, then receives a phone call]_

"What." The scientist's voice was sharp, annoyed at being interrupted. "Are you... No. I'll be up shortly. Try not to let them eat anything else." He growled a little and jabbed his phone screen, then turned back towards Sans and Papyrus.

"You two," he snapped. Sans' back straightened. "Stay where you are. Don't touch anything." He stormed from the room, and Sans glanced over at Papyrus. This... had never happened before.

Papyrus was watching the door. After several moments, he met Sans' gaze. "You think...?"

Sans shrugged. There was no way to tell if this was One's distraction or not. After all, he hadn't even told Alphys what it would be.

All the same, Sans felt the still-unfamiliar feeling of genuine hope curling around his core. He couldn't deny that he really wanted this to be it. He wanted this to work. He wanted to get Papyrus out.

The door rattled. Papyrus jumped a little, and they both looked over at the door. The scientist couldn't be back already, could he? The call had seemed urgent, like it would take a while, but it was hard to tell.

A small yellow head appeared as the door opened. Sans let out a sigh. Alphys. Something inside him twisted a little as he realized that this was it. Alphys was right there, on the same side of the door as they were. She said she was going to get them out, and Sans believed her, he did, but. She could do... whatever she wanted to them. She was in the lab, on the same side of the door. Part of Sans' core went cold at the thought.

"H-hey," Alphys said quietly. She slipped into the room, leaving the door cracked open behind her.

Papyrus smiled widely and waved almost violently. "Alphys!"

Sans waved slightly, trying not to take his eyes off either the door or Alphys. He didn't trust that the scientist would be gone for very long, and as much as he had grown to trust Alphys, he couldn't shake the deep fear that this was the lab, and bad things always happened in the lab.

"Um," Alphys said, digging through her bag and moving closer. Sans tensed, sitting up rigidly. "I brought you some clothes, uh, I hope they fit."

She pulled out a bright orange thing for Papyrus – it seemed to be both shirt and pants together in one, held together by snaps. Sans looked at the shirt a little critically. It wouldn't be a good color to blend in with, but then the only good color for that would be white, and Sans didn't feel very keen on that.

Papyrus pulled on the thing, and Alphys' eyes widened. She turned a very interesting shade of red and looked away. Sans watched, confused, as she shuffled around the table with her eyes on the floor.

“H-here,” she stammered, holding out a bundle of cloth to Sans. He took it, raising his eyebrows at her refusal to look up from the floor.

The bundle proved to be a white shirt, black shorts, and a blue jacket. He pulled on the clothes quickly, feeling safer and less exposed with them on. The jacket had a large hood lined with white fake fur, and he pulled it up over his head. Everything was a little large and baggy, but it stayed on his form comfortably enough.

Alphys pulled a pair of yellow boots from her bag and set them down on the floor by the table. Sans hopped down and pulled them on. They felt strange. He'd never worn anything on his feet before, and he wiggled his toes a bit, trying to decide if his feet felt trapped or not.

“Um. One should be here soon,” Alphys said quietly, looking at the door nervously. Sans went over to Papyrus' table and helped him down. Papyrus was vibrating, looking around with excited eyes, but his expression was serious and nervous. At this point, there was no turning back. They either got out, or the scientist would find out. And if the scientist found out...

Sans shook his head sharply. This had to work. It had to.

The door creaked. Sans' head snapped up to look, and after a tense moment, a monster entered. He heard Alphys sigh in relief, but was more focused on the newcomer.

The new monster had smooth white skin, with no variations in color or texture, and solid black eyes with pinprick white pupils. Sans moved slightly to keep Papyrus behind him. A growl lodged in the back of his throat. This monster looked a lot like the scientist. 

He obviously wasn't the scientist, he was short and wide and round to the scientist's tall and thin and almost sharpness, but he was clearly the same sort of monster. Sans' vision changed a bit as his magic surfaced and his eyes – no, his eye – began to glow.

The monster drew a sharp breath, eyes widening. His flesh seemed to tighten, as though it had sunken into his bones. Sans began to growl, a low rumbling deep in his chest, and was about to shift when Alphys stepped between them.

"It's okay, Sans," Alphys said, raising her hands in a placating gesture. "This is One. He's on our side. He's okay."

"how do we know?" Sans bit out. His mouth had too many teeth for its size, but he kept himself from shifting just yet.

Alphys opened her mouth, but a different voice answered. "you don't."

Sans narrowed his eyes at One. His voice sounded almost familiar, but Sans couldn't place why. It didn't have the strange accent that Alphys' voice did, but Sans was at a loss.

One met his eyes steadily. "i'm here to help, but i can't prove that." One spoke steadily and softly, and something about it made Sans believe him, even just a little bit.

Sans relaxed a little. His teeth shrank back into blunted, small shapes that fit into his mouth easier, and he untensed just a bit. He stayed where he was in front of Papyrus, though, and didn't take his eyes off One.

Alphys was looking between them, nervously. "W-well, uh. We should, um, get moving?" It came out as a question, and One nodded.

"sans," he said. "you are going to need to mimic the ru– the scientist's magic signature." Sans went cold. That was what the scientist had been testing, he couldn't do that, he...

"i can help you," One continued, cutting through Sans' panic, "but i will need to hold your hands."

Sans stared at One for a moment, and One looked back steadily, his hands outstretched. They were smooth and creamy, and in the center of each palm there was a small, circular spot that was lighter and a little grayer than the rest on One's skin. The spots shone slightly in the harsh light. After a moment, Sans nodded, once, and took a step towards One. He held out his hands and tried to stop them from shaking. This was for Papyrus, he reminded himself. This was the only way.

One closed the distance and took Sans' hands. His hands were warm and large, engulfing Sans' smaller ones without much effort. Something pulsed between their hands, and began to tug at Sans' magic.

Sans had a sudden uneasy feeling of familiarity. This... this had happened before, right? Only, not. He couldn't remember. He had been bigger, hadn't he? Maybe? He almost pulled away before One's voice stopped him.

“i'm going to push your magic into position. you're going to need to hold it like that until you're out.” He prodded at Sans' core. Sans held completely still, as he always did when the scientist was trying to touch his soul. No, more so than that. He was frozen in place, he couldn't move even if he wanted to. He could feel his chest, vibrating with the slight push back of his soul as it was prodded into a new shape. Not different, not by much, but distinctly not him, and this was so familiar, this had to have happened before, but when? Sans wasn't sure. “it's going to be draining, but it's the only way to fool the doors,” One continued, but the noise faded into the background.

“Wh-why can't you do it, again?” Alphys piped up from where she was standing a few feet away. Sans could barely hear her. This was so familiar. It had been the scientist tugging at his soul, right? No, he had been pushing something else into Sans' chest, nestled in right next to his soul. Sans could feel the echo of warmth and numbness.

After a few moments, One dropped Sans' hands and turned to Alphys. Sans didn't move, still frozen in place, and tried not to feel completely wrong while his magic was positioned just slightly different from how it was naturally. The familiarity was fading now that One had dropped his hands, and he started to wonder if he'd imagined it. It had been so strong, but Sans knew he'd made up stronger things before.

One frowned. "you okay?" he asked.

He took stock. His bones ached, like always, and his face throbbed softly, sending the occasional stab of pain across his skull. "one pain," Sans ground out. “non-interfering.” He was functional. Pain only mattered if it interfered with functioning.

"that's not what i asked," One said, frown deepening.

Sans backed up a few steps, positioning himself in front of Papyrus again. "i'm fine," he said, because he'd probably made the entire thing up. His words rang false despite him trying very hard to believe them.

One gave him a look that said that his didn't believe Sans, but he turned back to Alphys anyway. Sans suppressed a flinch – it had been a long time since he'd seen that expression on the scientist's face, but One's expression brought every memory of it rushing back. It had never been good.

“i need to get rid of the r– the scientist's notes,” One said to Alphys, seemingly ignoring Sans' lie for now. “he can't be allowed to continue his research.”

Sans blinked. “you mean like 03-h?” he asked in a small voice, unable to stop himself. Immediately he cursed himself in his head. _stupid, so stupid._

One snapped his head towards Sans, eyes briefly flaring bright blue. Sans actually flinched, reaching down to grab Papyrus' hand. “where did you see that,” One said through his teeth. His voice was sharp, but it sounded almost... afraid?

Sans looked to the side of One's face, gripping Papyrus' hand tightly, and tried to stay calm. “it was on one of the scientist's papers.”

As soon as the words came out of Sans' mouth, One's face crumpled. His eyes filled with grief for the smallest moment before they shuttered again. “right,” he said. His voice didn't shake like Sans had almost expected it to. “like 03-h.”

Sans glanced over at Alphys, who looked confused. "One...," she started, but One shook his head.

"just wasn't expecting them. i suppose i should have been." One scrubbed at his face with one hand. "i'll take care of them."

Sans stiffened. Did he mean...

"You kill?" Papyrus asked, peeking out from behind Sans' back. Sans moved to keep his brother behind him, watching to taller monster.

One's face softened a bit, and when he spoke his words has lost the slight edge they'd had the whole time. "i'll try not to. it's hard to know if they'll be able to survive, but i'll keep them alive as long as i can."

Papyrus nodded. "Good," he said, voice steady. Sans felt his soul swell with pride. Where had his brother learned to be so kind?

"We should, ah, we should get moving," Alphys said.

One nodded. "the way out is through here," he said, motioning to a door Sans and Papyrus had never been through before, "as well as everything i need." He started moving, and the three others hurried after him. The door opened with no problem, but Sans felt something inside his soul twitch and he had to fight to keep his magic where One had placed it.

"the door at the end on the hall," One said, motioning, "leads to a tunnel that surfaces in hotland." His voice sounded rough, like Sans' did when the scientist asked him a lot of questions he had to answer quickly. He wondered how much talking One usually did. "sans will need to open both doors," One finished.

Alphys wrung her hands together. "Wh-what about you?" she asked.

One smiled grimly. "don't worry about me. i'll get out when i'm done."

Alphys nodded reluctantly. Sans eyed One briefly. He couldn't shake the feeling that One was really familiar, but he didn't know why. The only monsters he was familiar with were the scientist or Alphys. He remembered, vaguely, the picture Alphys showed them of her mom and dad, and there were those monsters he'd... killed. But One didn't look like any of them, either.

After a moment, Alphys turned and hurried towards the door One had indicated. Sans and Papyrus followed close behind. The door was intimidating, and Sans paused for a moment with his hand on the handle. He could feel something surrounding his soul, probing at its shape. He grimaced – it felt far too much like the scientist's probing from before – but kept his magic where it was. After a moment, the lock clicked faintly, and Sans pulled the door open.

Alphys went through first, followed closely by Papyrus. Sans glanced back behind him to see where One was, but he was already gone. He shook his head. If the scientist caught One, it would be One's own fault. There was nothing he could do. Sans repeated that to himself firmly as he followed his brother through the door.

There was nothing more Sans could do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I might write up a post later explaining more about this continuity, as it truly gained its own life far beyond what I'd originally intended. In fact, I may possibly return to this series sometime in the future (though don't hold me too that - my muse is fickle and my ptsd is strong).
> 
> At any rate, I'll explain a bit about One and 03-H.
> 
> One is an alternate future version of Sans. Surprisingly, only one of you guys guessed that (prior to this chapter), although I suppose I was being rather oblique about it. Essentially, in his timeline, Sans and Papyrus never met Alphys and never escaped (since One orchestrated the whole thing to prevent his own timeline from happening). Therefore, Gaster was able to continue on with his plans. He made seven more skeletons, each about two years apart as that is roughly how long it took for his magic to replenish enough to create a new one. Hobo, 03-H, would already have been created in nsthb's timeline, but due to various errors in the process (because Gaster is a bad scientist), Hobo is not yet 'finished' to Gaster's satisfaction and has therefore not yet been left with Sans and Papyrus.
> 
> In the alternate timeline, Gaster succeeded in his goal of breaking the barrier and practically eradicating humanity, and then he proceeded to take over the underground, forcing Asgore to give up the throne. Things got bad, and a resistance formed. When One witnessed Papyrus' execution at the hands of one of their siblings, he defected. He ended up building a one-use-only time machine, and went back in time to try to stop Gaster's rise to power.
> 
> The reason he does not look like a skeleton is a magical disguise that he developed. Neither he nor nsthb's Sans can teleport yet.
> 
> How many of you guys figured at least a little of that out?
> 
> Once again, thank you guys soooo much for reading, and for giving me all of the support that you have. Feel free to ask me anything about this continuity that you're curious about - I'll try to answer as best as I can. Again, I'm sorry that I'm unable to finish this story how I had planned. I hope you all enjoyed it anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I'm [little-fuzzy-dude](http://little-fuzzy-dude.tumblr.com/) on tumblr if you want to visit me there.
> 
> Please feel free to make art or anything else for this story! I would really appreciate anything, I love fan art and I'm really not a great artist. You can find everything I post about this story and the series that might continue [here](http://little-fuzzy-dude.tumblr.com/tagged/turn-our-future-upside-down).


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